My first time was a date rape. He dropped me off with a smile, saying he would see me tomorrow. He didn't even realize that he had forced himself on me. I was so confused. I felt sick, and I hated and feared him but my mind also told me that I had been branded. That I now belonged to him. At 15 I didn't understand that I didn't have to stay with the person who stole my virginity. Now, married, kids, emotionaly abused, still being forced into sex, unhappy, scared. I would like to know if there are others who have felt like there future choices were not their own. I went to counseling but they said they couldn't help me anymore unless I either left him or he got help. He knows he is abusive but doesn't want people to judge him. So he won't go to counseling. He has a good heart or at least good intentions and I am not in physical danger so I don't have the right to leave him. I don't know what to do. I don't want my kids to suffer. I don't want him to suffer, either. I'm just stuck.
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