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I had the dream again.
I am very little, maybe five or six. I am somewhere I don't recognize, in a small kitchen. There are two old women there. I dont know who they are. I am sitting at a counter eating something. An old man comes in. He asks where the baby is. The baby is sleeping. I know the baby is my little brother.
Then I am outside with the man. I have my back against a tall fence. Hanging over the fence are sunflowers. They seem to be looking at me. Like giant heads, each with one big eye staring over the fence at me. They are like monsters, blocking out the sky.
Thats it. It ends there, always.
So is the dream significant? I dont know. Does it mean anything?
I think maybe it does because I have the dream over and over. Sometimes I go years without it. Sometimes it happens several nights in a row, with slight variations.
I hate sunflowers. I still think they are scary.
I wake up terrified. But also when I wake up, I feel like Ive had a sexual dream.
That seems significant to me.
Mostly I just try not to think about why I have the dream or why I feel like that.
I dont think I want to know.