i cant relate to u on this, as i cant remeber what happen and told my mother that i dont think she believes me on what happened, as she thinks it couldnt have have been that bad to not remeber it.
xxx
JJ

Kinda makes me believe that it is much easier for them to trivialise the incident in order for them to cope with it. To be fair, my mum has asked me what happened but I just do not feel comfortable telling her the details, so I should maybe accept some responsibility for her reaction...

what is responsible for her reaction, is that she is unaware of what rape really is. I think you are spot on about the fact that she can't deal with it - so she is in denial too. Hope that it won't last, and try not to internalize her reaction. It's only her reaction - not the truth.

Maybe she's still struggling to accept /understand what happened herself - this is probably new territory for her as well as for you. I know that doesn't help you much right now, I think she probably doesn't realise how her reaction is making you feel. Hope you can talk it out with her later and get her to understand.

I am sorry this is compounding the trauma and stress for you. I am willing to bet that you and Thriver are on the ball with her being in denial but that still doesn't help the situation. Take things slow and tell her the details only when you feel ready but I would be up front and tell her that although you love her and expect her love for you is unconditional as well, her reaction is hurting you and to please keep her disaproval to herself. Her reaction to this is not your fault, non of this was or is. Hugs

I'm the mom in this situation - also did't know how to respond. I've gotten a lot of perspective and sensitivity from being on this site- would she spend some time reasearching how rape affects peoplen other than you? It helped me to recognize what helped and hurt others, so I could deal with my daughter in a more supportive way. Good luck, and it's good you have an open relaionship with your mom so that you can discuss it. She just needs an education......

I had a similar experience. i didn't tell my parents until a couple months later. at first i got yelled at because i didn't tell them right away, then i got yelled at for drinking, and then my mom cried all the time and turned it into being about her. now both my parents pretend like it never happened and if its brought up at all suddenly they have stuff they have to do and they make sure to get out of there right away. I think its because they don't know how to deal with it and this is something that they hopped would never happen to their daughter. I think they feel guilty that they couldn't protect me.
It's not your fault, don't let it be turned that way, remind her of what you need right now, and if she can't put her feelings aside and be that for you then that is how she is failing you.

For me it was my dad that raped me. My parents are still married to each other. My dad raped me for years growing up. I'm 17 now and when I told my mom she told my I was lying and delusional. She still won't admit it. In fact, my whole family believes my father when he says he didn't do it. I know my mom's in denial because to admit it would be to shatter her world, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.