Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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Apathy

deleted_user
deleted_user
How do you feel about apathy? Occasionally, I find myself leaving my realm of anger or sadness (or even the rare moments of happiness) and entering into a place of perfect apathy. I don't care about anything. It's not a negative place nor is it a positive place. It's a place of mere existence. I find that apathy may be the scariest place of all...thoughts?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes - oh my goodness do I find I do this so much, it seems like when I feel too much of any emotion I go that place... too happy, too sad, too mad or angry, too scared, too anything and I just go numb and don't care. That's usually when I have SI problems because you're right, it is the scariest place of all - to realized that everything means nothing to you - I just want to cut to know I'm capable of feeling something.. so I know how you feel - I"m not sure how to fix it, or if it can ever be fixed - but I'm here with you
WhitneySam
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes-I know about apathy. I have been there, but I'm not there now. I recently found out 2 of the men who assaulted me are running free. It makes me sick!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm pretty flat and apathetic most of the time. I think its scary too. I'd rather feel something than nothing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I still spend a lot of time there and it is scary!
I'm hoping it'll improve once I've got regular counselling appointments again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This feeling is sometimes helpful to me, but at other times, leads to a lack of ability to enjoy life in general. Sometimes my emotions become so strong that I have to stop feeling anything at all just to exist.
deleted_user
deleted_user
And yes, I think it's very scary. Having no feelings, it makes me fear what I might do. The pain is gone then, but so is happiness, so is humanity. This leads me to outrageous means to feel something. I've felt this way for years now, and rarely escape the grasp of a numb existence.

Even pain is worse than being completely numb to life.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I used to be there and wish I could go back. It's better than the feelings I have now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel like this alot of the time...it's really scary, it makes you feel almost not human. Like you just kind of exist, you do what you need to do like some kind of robot but you're not really there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
OMG!

I'm crying as I write this ...I just recognized the appropriate name for what I've been feeling all these months.

and the just existing part ...it's like all of you were in my head.

for some reason the only word I could think of for how I was feeling was despair, but that's not it at all ...I just don't care about anything anymore ...I just feel theis strong WHATEVER! attitude and I can't fix it or rather I don't know how to fix it.
I wonder how long this will last?
it can't be a healthy place to be but I find it's my comfort zone now....wow!
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