
Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

deleted_user
I really thought that I was handling things well - that I was coping and not letting that SOB get the best of me. Sure, I've been thinking about him... we used to be such wonderful friends that it almost makes sense that I would think of my friend first and not what he did to me. Hell, it still shocks me at times. Sure, I still feel uncomfortable and scared in public situations, especially when there are men I don't know talking to me or standing near me. That's all normal right?
Monday night, I'm in class, and we're talking about anxiety disorders, and the professor hands out some quotes for people to read. The one for PTSD starts out "The rape happened just before Thanksgiving. I'm scared all the time, and when that time of year comes around..." and that's all I heard. I shut down, and as soon as the woman was done reading the quote, I ran to the bathroom choking back bile. A girlfriend of mine from class found me in the bathroom, crouched on the floor, wedged between a sink and the wall, rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears. Suddenly it was July 17th all over again. I couldn't sleep in my bed that night. Last night, I had to - no where else I could really go that so late (I have class Tues nights too). It took me forever to sleep, and it wasn't restful.
I feel like I haven't slept in months. I feel like I'm losing my mind. And worst of all, I want his blood, and I am more than willing to lose my soul to get it.
That's it... he finally won. I'm a shell of myself and I know now that I'm capable of physical violence. I'm scared for myself and of myself at this point. We frequent the same places, so there's always a chance I'll see him... and I know what I'll do if that happens......
Monday night, I'm in class, and we're talking about anxiety disorders, and the professor hands out some quotes for people to read. The one for PTSD starts out "The rape happened just before Thanksgiving. I'm scared all the time, and when that time of year comes around..." and that's all I heard. I shut down, and as soon as the woman was done reading the quote, I ran to the bathroom choking back bile. A girlfriend of mine from class found me in the bathroom, crouched on the floor, wedged between a sink and the wall, rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears. Suddenly it was July 17th all over again. I couldn't sleep in my bed that night. Last night, I had to - no where else I could really go that so late (I have class Tues nights too). It took me forever to sleep, and it wasn't restful.
I feel like I haven't slept in months. I feel like I'm losing my mind. And worst of all, I want his blood, and I am more than willing to lose my soul to get it.
That's it... he finally won. I'm a shell of myself and I know now that I'm capable of physical violence. I'm scared for myself and of myself at this point. We frequent the same places, so there's always a chance I'll see him... and I know what I'll do if that happens......
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
This isn't something that happens overnight. It takes time. Lots of time. You will know when you are ready to process everything - but I doubt you can do that right now. You've been traumatized. You have every right to feel the way you do.
You ARE wrong about one thing....he DID NOT win. He will pay for what he has done to you - I promise you that!