Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
it's been almost a year, it will be on New Years Eve/New Years.
I've done such a good job of covering it up and acting like nothing happened that now I am forgetting details. The few details I remember, and it makes me feel as though I'm making it up when I do thinking about it.
now that that date is closer--it's like feelings are flooding in.
I don't know if any of that makes any sense.
I never talk about what happened, and only told 3 people about it-- well not even all that went on but ya know. my teacher knows most, and I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore. I feel bad because I trust her the most but I don't want to trust her too much-- I know she would be there to talk to me if I needed it though. I just don't want a pity party.
and I can't even fit a counselor into my schedule between work and school. The only time I can get counseling is between 5:30-7p.m. and that is when most offices are on there last appointments for the day.(i need to figure something out with this)
I'm angry, so angry. Not at him but at myself. I hate me to no end. but no one really knows that because I cover up my feelings. I always am just "ok" or I just say I'm tired.
I need to feel my feelings-- I haven't cried in almost a year. It's like I can't feel anymore.
I've done such a good job of covering it up and acting like nothing happened that now I am forgetting details. The few details I remember, and it makes me feel as though I'm making it up when I do thinking about it.
now that that date is closer--it's like feelings are flooding in.
I don't know if any of that makes any sense.
I never talk about what happened, and only told 3 people about it-- well not even all that went on but ya know. my teacher knows most, and I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore. I feel bad because I trust her the most but I don't want to trust her too much-- I know she would be there to talk to me if I needed it though. I just don't want a pity party.
and I can't even fit a counselor into my schedule between work and school. The only time I can get counseling is between 5:30-7p.m. and that is when most offices are on there last appointments for the day.(i need to figure something out with this)
I'm angry, so angry. Not at him but at myself. I hate me to no end. but no one really knows that because I cover up my feelings. I always am just "ok" or I just say I'm tired.
I need to feel my feelings-- I haven't cried in almost a year. It's like I can't feel anymore.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I"m not sure how much help I can be but I just had to reasond because I remember how anxious and upset I felt right before the 1st anniversary of my attack which passed in June of this year. I felt totally overwhelmed...and I really cried for the 1st time in almost a year. My emotions were so raw and I was in a weird mood the whole month of June.
My advice is to do something you really love on that day if you are able to.....no matter what stay busy the entire day from the time you wake up until you fall in the bed (literally wear yourself out...because if you don't you will be a mess the entire day and you won't be able to get your mind off of it for the whole day and that will make you feel so defeated.)
The other thing is ..IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT EVER!!! only the scuzz-ball that did this to you is to blame! Give HIM all the anger you feel now, but take it off of yourself, YOU did nothing wrong....and you SURVIVED! (Yay for that!)
Things are easier said than done but go at your own pace and if you can't get help w/ a therapists right at the moment...talk it out here on DS we're all here for one another, and we share your emotions and pain.
hope this helped ...you can write to me anytime!
HUGGSSSS!!!! take care