It is so hard for me to ask for help... But I don't know what to do... I was raped and beaten by the love of my life and I can't help thinking this is my fault... I should have told him not to drink... I shouldn't have brought up when he had cheated on me again... This was only a few days ago... How do I make the gut wrenching pain go away... I feel so hurt... It is taking me everything I have to not take my own life... I know that I need to be around for my kids... But when he gets out of jail... I am afraid that I am going to take him back without hesitation because I do love him... Awwww... I don't know what to do... I just want to get my life back and to stop feeling so dirty... Ugh... WHAT DO I DO....!
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