I was in a treatment center for an eating disorder, and in one of the groups I was in, the group leader pressed me to say the words "I was raped". I had the HARDEST time with that, but I got them out. I have never experienced anger about this... fear, yes; sadness, yes; loneliness, yes.... but never anger, unless it was directed at myself. One of the girls in the group stood up and just got SOOO angry, started going off about how she was so mad that this happened to me, and it happened to her, and how she just hates the guy who raped her, and she just vented off all this anger towards him for, like, 20 minutes. And what I want to know, is... why can't I get that mad? Why can't I be that angry? I don't understand.... she could go on forever, yelling, and just being so angry. So why can't I?
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