First of all let me say I'm sorry you were raped! It is a very tramatic thing to happen to us. I understand your fear. I experienced it many times in my life. There were triggers for it. Panic attacks can hit anywhere. Your sense of sercurity is threatened, so you get anxious. It does get better as time goes by. You will never forget you were raped but as you deal with the emotions you will heal. The trial is hard and you will feel embarassed but try to remember your family loves you and they will not judge you, only want to protect you. Try not to feel shame. You didn't do anything wrong he did! I can't tell you everything will get easier overnight. You will never forget but we can allow it to make us a better person in life. God can use the worse circumstance in life and turn it around. Keep hope and faith in your heart and never give up. God Bless! A big hug to you!

telling your story in front of a bunch of strangers in one thing but when your family don't know what happen to the full is even worse - But just hold your head up look right at him/her and tell it - at the end tell him he no longer owns you and you are free then leave - Don't be scared anymore the worst part it over and you survived - With your family not knowing all the detail i think you should sit down with them and explain that you haven't told them all the details and that you will when your ready but ask them to respect you by not being in the court room while you are up there

Thank you both for your kind words of support! I have tried telling them that i will tell them when i feel comfortable but its best if they are not in the court room but they still dont understand.