
Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

deleted_user
I was raped by my best friend, we had this werid relationship. I used to date him, and I guess it was kindof on and off for a while. We were sexually involved for about A year and a half now, and one night be came over, and it just happened. I've tried so hard to take that night out of my memory that it's begining to be unclear to me.
I never turned him in. I never hated him for it. Infact we're still friends, and I chose to forgive him. I don't know why, and I understand that I may have made the wrong decision, but I also love this person, a lot. How can you hurt someone you love so much?
I just want to know, does it ever go away?
The pain? Does it ever stop? Even after you've forgiven the person? How do I go on? I feel as if no one will take me after whats happened, ad if it's stamped on my forehead and everyone knows. Thats why I stick with him, because I feel as if no one else will care. =(
What should I do?
I need help. =(
I never turned him in. I never hated him for it. Infact we're still friends, and I chose to forgive him. I don't know why, and I understand that I may have made the wrong decision, but I also love this person, a lot. How can you hurt someone you love so much?
I just want to know, does it ever go away?
The pain? Does it ever stop? Even after you've forgiven the person? How do I go on? I feel as if no one will take me after whats happened, ad if it's stamped on my forehead and everyone knows. Thats why I stick with him, because I feel as if no one else will care. =(
What should I do?
I need help. =(
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To me it sounds as if you are staying with him, letting him use your body whenever he is in that mood because you have lost your self esteam and respect. You didn't lose it though, he stole it from you. It is not stamped on your forehead he is playing on that memory. Trust me on this one, you are going to be and are most probibly now desired, cared for and, wanted by others just for being you. This awful thing that was done to you does not define you. Have you truely forgiven him if you still hurt so much deep inside? My gut answer to that is no, whats yours? I think you should cut him out of your life and get yourself into therapy. I am a big believer in therapy these days but years ago when it happened and when I needed help bad, I was the most anti - therapy woman you were ever likely to meet. It really does help I promise you.
But at the time when you're struggling to make sense of what's happened you do get confused and it's easy to start doubting yourself and what really happened.
You *will* find other people who genuinely care about you without trying to manipulate you. But the sooner you distance yourself from this 'friend' the better, the longer you let this situation go on the worse it's going to get.
You probably already know this for yourself, you're here in this group and you know that what happened to you was rape.
As for forgiveness, you're still trying to make sense of what happened so forgiveness is irrelevant, and you don't need to forgive in order to move on.
I agree with solongago, find a good counsellor to discuss this with; it can be difficult at first, but after a while you'll find that your life changes for the better in so many ways that you probably can't even imagine right now.