It might be hard, but you realy should think about reaching out to your sister and trying to let her know you love her and support here and are there for her.

If she's fighting with your parents a lot, she might need to know that she's got a family member in her corner.

Hope that helps.

I'm so sorry. I think she would probably really appreciate the support. No one in my family knows, and I could never tell them. If they found out and approached me in a completely devestated and supportive manner, it would be such a relief. I know I would love it if someone in my family knew and could just hold me and tell me that they loved me, so I'm sure she would too.

How did you find out? from the journal? did your parents find out too?

You need to approach her in the same way you told us your story. Maybe even writing her a letter and leaving it on her pillow?
I think the scariest thing for women in approaching the men in their lives about rape (besides not being believed)is the knowledge that once the boys find out, all control is taken away from them. They won't listen to 'let me handle this and tell it in my own time', they just want to rush out and start killing people. And I can understand that, but the decisions are hers to make. What she needs is kindness, support and love, and to be told that you love her and respect her decisions (even if you don't agree with them!)and won't rush out there and start trying to 'fix' it for her unless she asks you to. I know it's so hard when you love her but don't take any more control away from her than she's already lost XX

I too never told and to this day only my current partners know the whole story. I can't tell you what a relief it was but it was so hard, almost unbearable. It took a lot of gentle, slow, patient love. I agree with Lizl27. I think you should let her know you know and you love, respect and faith in her has not changed. Please be prepared to have a lot of anger come at you if/when you do that and you must not respond to it in any way but to keep telling her nothing between you has changed and nothing was her fault. Whatever nasty hateful stuff she drags up and throws at you you can't respond to it. It will be hard to resist taking the bait but if she is anything like me she will have a lot of anger and self hate that she wont know what to do with but try to hurt someone else with. Have you thought about a therapist for you? That would be a good start for dealing with your feelings so you can help her with hers.

Be very gentle in the way you let your sister know, yes maybe a ltter would be the way ???? When my daughter was sexualy assaulted all I wanted to do was hurt the person who had hurt her, and I found myself ouside their house wanting just that... My friends rang me just at the same time and talked me out of what I would have done and made me come to their house, as much as I wanted to hurt the person who hurt my daughter and rational thinking does not come into this at the time of learning what has happened, but just as I had to stop and walk away so do you as this is not the answer this just gets yourself into trouble and the person responsible gets away with nothing... The best thing you can do is suport your sister and be there for her getting charged and maybe put behind bars is not helping her in any way even though I fully understand you feeling like this, Still doing something like this is not the answer so take care of yourself and your sister as I said be every gentle and suportive and just be there for her once you have told her that you know she does not need to hear your anger as this will make her feel insecure and bring about scared feelings about you , release your anger in a positive way bash a punching bag yell out loud how angry you are somewhere no one can hear you get it out of you and then you can suport your sister in the way she needs, good luck I hope all goes well , My thoughts are with you and your sister ... xxxoooxxx Luv lesley