I feel in love with a guy. I thought he was the one. But after two years things started to change and he got very controlling and creepy. I filed a restraining order against him and his responce was to drug me, kidnap me, beat me, and then rape me. Now he is in jail. But, I saw him in court today and as much as I hate him I still love him. He was my best friend. I am so confussed on how I feel I don't know what to do. I want to see him in jail, yet I felt bad that he has lost weight and looked so said. I miss him so much, yet I never want to see him again. What is wrong with me. Why can't I just hate him like I should. Like everyone keeps telling me I need to. Why do I still have a part of my heart that loves him and wants to be with him?
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