And what you should happen you ask?? I stumbled and fell. Not only do I not remember how I even fell, feet twisted? light headness??, I only remember feeling horrified and confused. My friend, Ex-husband which is a whole nother story, tried helping me up, but I was confused on how to even let him help me. I hauled my fat ass up that was covered in bark and just stood there feeling like I was living in a surreal world of my real life. This is my new body/mind and I am not liking it. Even typing this is sapping my energy. So I made it a whole hour and a half in the outside world before wanting to run back to my mothers downtown studio where I have no control over nothing yet I am scared shitless to go home to my boyfriend where I live in an upstairs flat. Once I am up there I am trapped. My mother has lymphodema so she can't climb the steps to visit. Awkward for my ex husband who is my best friend to hang out with my current boyfriend.who do know one another and are adults about who they are in my life. So how is that for an overdose of honesty. Really all I want is for my twenty-one year old b boy child to come home and be with me. Oh what a boo hoo day for me. Oh joy my mix of medications that make me have the ill spins is happening as I write thsi.
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ur all better than anyone in my 'real' life. hearts & love. M & Prince. xoxo
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