babygirl, you need to ween slowly, i have been on them for 7 years and my doc retired so i was screwed.. i cant afford them either. i weened but screwed up and took more so today here i am day 2 with no vics in me. i called in sick from work. i am takin zoloft had to be honest with the doc replacng mine and that has helped the depression i used to feel when i tried to come off. i also take 5 mgs of valium as needed. yesteday i needed 3 valiums. today i have the sweats famiy thinks i have te flu.. but its not as bad as i thought.you need to go to a dr and explain i cant go to rehab to much resposibility so i had to do this at home.. he can give you the tools to try.. 35 vics are alot..the most i did was 10 ... you have to try..

If you are truley sick of it all and want to "get off the ride" it CAN be done. Check out my entries/profile. There should be a lot of helpful stuff there re: getting clean. I feel the same as you! I tokk about 30 7.5's yesterday, and I'm starting to slowly =wean off by minusing a pill each day. We will do it. If you need to talk, email me skaiserp@yahoo.com (Sam)

Babygirl I am going to sound like an ass because i only took 8 10's yesterday and i am wimping out from the withdrawals. If that is what they are. I usually take 25mgs at night and i skipped them last night and i woke up today sweating, aching, creepy crawly feeling from head to toe. I guess those feel like withdrawals to me. Thats alot that you are taking. Is there some sort of outpatient program they have there? NA? When i was a nurse we gave Ativan to the drunks but i dont know if this is different or not. Even though i don't take as many as you, although i am heading down the road to meet you, i know how this feels. I tried to go off of them last night. What a nightmare. I cannot believe this happened to me either. In my mind i dont need them or want them, but my body is telling me otherwise. Hugs,

Babygirl, i feel for you i came off a 360/month habit in april. I would recomend you talk to your Dr. or a drug treatment clinic. As addicts we have a really hard time weaning ourselfs off, so the safest and easyest way is to seek proffesional help - I could not have gotten off without pro help.

OH by the way life sober is the cats ass.

I too can't believe I am addicted to Vicodin. I never did anything like this. I am going to Betty Ford treatment facility for 90 day residential treatment. Life can be better. Get to a hospital or treatment facility. You can try to ween off vicodin with Darvocet but don;t get hooked on that one like me. ASk for help. THat is what I couldn;t do and had to have an intervention to get me to admit I have a problem. You are admitting it now too. ASK for help. It will suck, It will hurt you and those around you but life will go on and you and your friends and family will rebuild your trust with them and the love will get you through. Please hang in there. I was also taking 40 Vicodins a day. The withdrawl was horrible but I got a few darvocet from my MD and was able to function wile my body got rid of the Vic's. Good luck. Your not alone.

Babygirl...this is actually my first post here in this group. I joined this group probably about 15 days or so ago. I was so hooked on hydro's/perosets... I am a 47 year old woman who is a mother and wife. Those pills stole my marriage and my family. I am 12 days into my weaning. I have gone from 20 a day to now maybe 3 7.5's. It is working. I was so afraid of the withdraws. Granted, the one day I had none the withdraws were bad, but I got up out of bed. And, decided this is not how I want to live my life. I have lost so much due to these damn things. It all started innocently...I have fibromyalgia, stress, depression. In my mind I thought those pain pills helped with my depression. All they did was change me to a person I am not. I got tired of chasing the pill. The rat race, the counting, finding money, you get the picture. I wanted my life back. My marriage has taken a tole and it will never be the same IF it can even be repaired. A friend came to me and told me she seen the problem. I thought...how could anyone see I had a problem I was normal taking these pills. HA HA That is so NOT the case. I have lost 65 pounds, I was not me. I just thought I was me. I then had to do the one thing I dreaded doing..the man I married...the man who now has my best friend for his girlfriend the man who was my best friend, my lover, my rock. I had to tell him what had happened to me. He knew of course. In his way over the past 2 years he tried to tell me what I was doing to myself, but I wouldn't listen. Then, when I found out about them it just gave me the excuse to take more and more. But, it was him I had to go to to confess. He has helped me this past week and a half. I will never go back to where I was. I have seen the real me now and I like me. I like life with out the chase of the pill. Honey, you need to find someone to help you. If you don't want to go to rehab then who ever is closest to you you need to confess and ask for help. Buy your last supply...give it to them and make a new start on life. If that doesn't work and you REALLY want it then you will have to go to rehab. I promised the friend who confronted me if I felt I was back sliding she could take me to any rehab in the world and I would stay.

Good luck honey.

oh girlie i feel your pain. your entry made me cry i hear so much of myself in what youre saying. i've been addicted to oxy's for four years now and take about 160mgs a day which is good in comparison to how much i was taking. i was on suboxone for a while and i actually have a bottle of it in my cabinet i just...relapsed really badly this past month. but jesus i know exactly how you feel. it is SO SCARY when you realize that you don't know what it's like to be sober. just like you, i have NEVER had any prior addictions to anything in my life. and this one has seriously ruined my life. it has been the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with. just be strong because you know what? it's beatable. it really is. check out some suboxone, it really does help the withdrawals. and believe me, i am no stranger to withdrawals. i tried to quit cold turkey once and almost died from my body going into shock. the sweats and the shits and the leg cramps and the insomnia are NO FUN and the suboxone will help. you know what else i have found to help is xanax or valium. if you can and you really want to kick, get ahold of some xans or some vals, take a couple of days off and sleep through the withdrawals. no shit i swear it will help. but look into the suboxone first of course. i feel your pain girl and i am praying for you.

I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU .THANX FOR CARING AND GIVING ME YOUR OPINIONS I WILL TAKE EVERYONE AND TRY TO SEE IF I CAN FINNALY BECOME CLEAN AND RID OF THIS HORRIBLE ADDICTION..I CAN'T HELP BUT CRY BECAUSE I JUST FEEL SO LOST SO OUT OF CONTROL ..EVERYDAY I TELL MYSELF THIS WILL BE THE DAY THAT I START MY NEW LIFE WITHOUT PILLS IN MY LIFE..BUT THEN I CONTUINE ON USING ..I TAKE MORE AND MORE..I HAVE NO CONTROL..AND I CAN'T STAND IT.. I WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME BUT OF COURE THAT CAN HAPPEN ..I CAN ONLY HOPE FOR THE BEST AND FIGHT FOR MY LIFE BACK AND THATS WHAT I WILL DO..

I too was addicted to pain pills and at my worst I was taking 40-50 percocets a day and I was forging scripts to get them. My addiction began when I had to have multiple surgeries and dependence led to addiction which led to breaking the law then a suicide attempt, institution then jail. I have been clean going on 2 years now and I was addicted for over 15 and I know what you mean about wondering how to live your life without that high each day. Well I first had to get God back into my life and that was when I got clean. I also found out that I was bipolar and had to begin treatment for that. Turns out that a lot of us addicts have dual diagnosis but we just don't know it. I would suggest that you see someone to find out if this pertains to you. But please know this, my worst day clean is better than my best day on pills. Each day is truly a blessing. If you need me you can email me at Kbronakoski@yahoo.com. Daily Strength can be a great resource for you and the people here just want to help so don't be afraid to reach out. Love, Kim