it seems like i'm getting more depressed as the days go on, i feel like my life is slowly but surely spinning out of control. The feeling of self hatred is sinking in like a rock to the bottom of a lake. I find myself wanting more and more but getting less and less. I want so bad for some vikidin, or and OC, but i can't bring myself to get one. Maybe even a bunch of caffeine pills or anything. I just don't know how long i can handle this life of mine. All i have to remember that the things i go through are for the better in the grand scheme of things and all those other people don't have drugs to turn to like i did. Everytime i would get stressed i would smoke some pot or get drunk, and worst of all take some of the little white ones out of my bottle. You know what i'm talking about. Its not fair that i would be able to run from my problems when other people don't have that luxary. Its been three months and its getting easier but harder at the same time.
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