Prescription and Synthetic Drug Abuse Support Group

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I really screwed up

deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, for a while now I have been taking my boyfriend's Vicodin w/o him knowing. This is the second time I've done this and he IS FURIOUS WITH ME. He said that in doing that, I basically said "screw u" and only thought about myself. I feel terrible, every time I took one I would tell myself, "this is that last time", it never was. He knew for a couple days and just acted like everyhting was normal, then yesterday he told me he knew what I had been doing. I feel horrible, he called me a liar and a thief and he said he's really hurt by what I did. I only would take like 2 every other day, I know it's still not right right but he's acting like I cheated on him or something. He called me at work and basically said I know what u have been doing and I don't ever want to see you again, have a nice life. Is what I did really that terrible? Would you be this upset if someone did this to you? I've been helping him out for 3 yrs while he's been unable to work, I know that doesn't justify anything, but It wasn't like I stole money. I wish to god I had never done this. I'd like your opinions please.
deleted_user
deleted_user
no if he cared and knew he could offered you help, not toss you to the road what you did was a cry for help and you got tossed away like trash not if someone cared no matter... what til death do you part stick with someone and love and help them, not say see ya,what you did was bad but it was hurting yourself not him if he cared he would help you
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess he's so mad b/c I did it before. I didn't do it to hurt him and I felt guilty about it every time I did it. He's mad because I could "smile in his face" but steal from him behind his back. Then the fact that he kept all this from me for a week. We had fun this weekend and got along the week before, then all of a sudden he goes off and tells me he knew I was taking his pills the whole time. It may seem backwards, but I feel like I've been betrayed. And to call me at work and tell me to have a nice life and that he never wants to see or talk to me again, I almost started crying right at my desk I felt so hurt. I have NEVER been hurt like this in my entire life. I feel like he set me up just to be mean. He says he didn't tell my b/c he wanted to give me time to come clean. It feels like something broke inside me, something that will never be able to be fixed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just remember that you may have messed up yesterday, but tomorrow will be a new one in which you can change, start over and never do anything like that again. It seems hard--sure, but millions have kicked it before you and millions will after you.

I wish you the best of luck...

JW
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry you are going through this. Addiction is a terrible thing to cope with, and more often than not we hurt the ones we love the most. If he knew you had problems, he should never have kept the pills accessible to you. I know where you're coming from; this had nothing to do with him, only searching for that moment of peace, right? We have a saying in Narcotics Anonymous..."One is too many, a thousand is never enough." No matter how many times you tell yourself it's the last time, you will always be searching.
I highly recommend you get help; seek out an NA meeting, it's done wonders for others (myself included).
You also need someone who understands that you have a problem; someone who will care if you are slipping, not discard you. I hate to say it, but I think you are better off without him.
Please think about getting some help for yourself, though. Just keep on the path to help, and someday you won't be tempted to slip so easily.
My thoughts and heart are with you, please let me know how you're doing!
Love,
Mahadra
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ahh Haa! The problem is not the pills. That's his excuse for going off on you b/c he doesn't have a leg to stand on. You have been helping him for 3 yrs while he doesn't work. He is dependent on you. And feels that he can't get his true feelings out b/c he relies on you and when you got caught, it gave him a reason to pitch a fit and feel like a man. Cuz I'm sure he doesn't feel too much like a man being dependent on you. Screw him, you probably paid to get them filled. He's lucky to have you. It's his loss...
deleted_user
deleted_user
He forgave me the same day, I guess I failed to mention that. I guess since I did it before and I promised never would again, he was even more mad. He said it hurt him more than anything. He is not a user or anything like that, he is unable to work right now and is waiting to get approved for SSI. He has to have major reconstructive surgery done on his foot in about a week, he can barely walk right now. I'm certainly not making excuses for him, what he said to me was very harsh. But it also stems from a huge fight that we had about 3 weeks ago where I said some very hurtful things and he was really burned by that. I'm no angel, and I will admit most of the problems are my fault, I just don't understand why he was so mad at me?? His reaction was as if I had cheated on him!
deleted_user
deleted_user
He probably just really needs the pills right now. And combined with the trust issue it really put him over the edge. I know It's not cheating but if you are in pain and someone takes your pain pills you could feel like they don't care about you. If he is not an addict it's probably hard to understand that what you did was not because you don't care about him. I would tell him to hide his pills from you in the future and explain addiction to him. Good luck to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I lived whith a bf who a had pres for vicodin with tons of refills. He didn't like em. I took em all and when the refills ran out I moved back to Cali. He never once asked about them.
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