i can go months and months at a time drug free but as soon as a problem presents itself i turn into my own worst enemy. i turn into this self destructive other person. i know i have ptsd and have never properly delt with the problem i tend to run from them. i've been doing this since i was 16. it's kind of all i've learned to know. although i do know it's wrong and recognize this. my bf is supportive of keeping me away from drugs but if we get in a fight it's like i'm all alone and have lost my support. it's a constant battle and i would just appreciate some advice of things i can do to prevent this self destruction. oh, i cannot drive my car anymore because of the abuse of benzos i now have seziures so it's not like help is so avaliable. when i don't have my bf i don't have anything.
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