my problem started a long time ago and then it just went away. I was taking pain pills and some how... I dont even remember... I just quit. Then I gave my daughter up for adoption in Jan and it all started again. At first... pain pills would give me such a high. I didn't hurt as much from the choices that i had made... and some how I got from day to day taking lorcets. I think I was hooked and after that... I think I haven't went very many days without lorcet. Now I want to stop... but now so sure how. Everytime I quit I have really bad withdrawls that make me want to run so hard and fast from being sober. But, it's getting harder to get them... and I do want to stop. I'm just scared to death to actually do it. i know the actual side effects of being without it is BAD!! But I wonder what is worse.. the withdraws or actually going through the motions of having to get them. I hate to steal and I HATE the lying... but it seems like that is all that i do. For those of you that has gone through this... how do i stop??? i need serious help.
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Today is the first day of my new start. my beer drinking has to stop this time for good. I have gone 460 days before, but I fell back last May, and now it is February. I am really determined this time .