Today is my 2 months clean day!!! I am very proud of myself. I don't really think about getting high anymore. I never thought that day would come when I didn't think about it on a daily basis. I used to go crazy thinking about getting high. Though its a good day, I struggle with something else. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which is a chronic pain disorder affecting the muscles and tendons among other things. I have days where I am in agonizing pain. The treatment for those days is narcotics. This obviously is not an option for me. Even if I felt that I was strong enough for an occasional pill, my doctor won't give them to me so what is a girl to do? I have to suffer through it for days on end. I just cry in pain and can't move. I have tried just about everything with no relief when others with my condition have their narcotics. I feel cheated and angry. Addiction has messed up my life yet again. I just want to curse the world right now yet I should be so happy that I have come so far. Maybe someday I will be able to live a life without pain but in the mean time I won't let the drugs win again. Anyway, woo hoo for me!
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