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taking your own advice

deleted_user
deleted_user
Why is it so hard to follow the advice you give to others?

My husband and I are in a financial nightmare and I know I need to relax and keep as calm and unstressed as possible. So far, the best way for me to deal with minimizing stress is ignoring the problem. This has made the situation worse, and denial and avoidance is no longer an option. Trying to forge our way out of this mess is going to take a lot of effort and perseverance. I can only do so much before I start to freak out and go down the path towards an anxiety attack, so I stop as soon as I feel myself go there. But I have to keep going back.

I know that relaxation techniques (I know a million of them) should be my friend as well as meditation and other pampering, relaxing, take-care-of-yourself things. But it seems like such an effort to do them. I feel like I'm so rusty on these skills and that they won't be effective. Of course, this line of thinking only sabotages your efforts. I wish I could break the cycle and just DO the stuff and make myself feel better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear your struggling! I understand what you mean about it being hard to take your own advice, i think when you reach a certain level of stress, its just so hard to get yourself out of it, you need a helping hand. Perhaps the best way to actually get yourself to DO the stuff to make yourself feel better, is find someone who'll enjoy doing them with you. Perhaps your mum? or mother in law? Or a good friend of yours who also needs a bit of relaxation at the moment. I know sometimes there are things i really should do, but actually getting motivated to do them is so hard! Its good when you have someone to share them with, and you'll find the stress will lessen alot if you have someone who'll just listen to you :). I hope your troubles work themselves out soon! All the best xox
suzyhopes
suzyhopes
Finances can really screw with you. Is there a financial counselor you can talk to? Or a friend or family member who is experienced with finances? It's hard to ask for help, we feel we should be able to do it ourselves, but one thing they don't teach in school and parents don't generally teach becasue its grown up stuff is personal finance. It is okay to ask for help and then learn how to control/fix things. If you have a guide for the process you will feel a whole lot more in control and less stressed. Good Luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We have an appt on the 30th of Oct at a financial counselling place,so we're in the process of taking that step. Its just that waiting, my husband is afraid other things will happen. I did talk with a friend who's had money issues in the past too, and thta helped. Also, as guilty as I feel about it, my husband decided he needs to be in charge of the budget instead of me, and that has taken a lot of the stress away as well. It'll be ok. This too shall pass. *L*

I think I understand what you mean about getting to a certain point and having trouble helping yourself. Makes sense. Too bad I didn't do preventative stuff. Oh well, too late and I can only fix today and the future. Having a relaxation partner sounds like a fun thing! The only issue is timing. Will the other person be available when I need it? We'll see what I can do. Thanks!
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