Yesterday I sent a message to my baby's father letting him know I was filing for physical custody of my child. I want to ensure my right as a parent. He doesn't want her, but just in case I want to know I'm legally protected. Anyways he popped off with 'Whatever it's not mine' I just laughed at him and said well when I file for a paternity test you'll have 30 days to contest or you'll automatically be named the father. So he told me to go find someone else to blame. That pissed me off. I'm not really one to be able to hold my composer when I'm mad. So I started talking sh*t to him. I told him he was acting like a teenager. I was too I guess and I know it's not an excuse, but I want what's best for my child. He's crazy if he thinks I'm not going to file for child support. I didn't create her by myself. He told me he didn't care and it didn't matter because he was leaving anyways. I was like yeah right, but unless you leave the country they will find you. I also said that since he was 'leaving' he wouldn't mind that I make it known he's the father and doesn't want to take any responsibility. He said 'Yes I do' I told him since he didn't care about what I want I don't care about what he wants. That was the end of that conversation. Well about 11 pm last night he calls me up asking if I wanted to have sex with him........I freaked out. I asked him if he was effing retarded. He asked me why I wanted him to be the father and what ever happened to don't worry about it. I told him I didn't want him to be the father, but I couldn't change that, but I could change my mind about my kid knowing both parents. I want what's best for my child. All he said was 'Yeah' I was like yeah what? That's all you have to say??? He said he doesn't like to talk over the phone and I don't want to see him. I told him I was afraid to be alone with him. He told me he would never hurt me or the baby. I said ppl do extreme things when they don't want something. He told me that was bs, but what's bs is that my child is going to suffer because he's being selfish. He told me he's never done anything to hurt me and he wouldn't. I told him he hurts me emotionally all the time. He told me he would try to be here more for me and the baby. The thing is he's only into it when he wants to get some. He told me that wasn't true and sorry he's been mean, but it's not easy. I know it's not easy but it's not fare to me and my child. He wants to see me today, but I feel like ripping off his face and running it over with my car. I don't want to be with him. He makes me sick. I think I might now what hate is now. I'm completely emotional and trying to do the best thing for my baby, but I have no idea what I'm doing!
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