Your mother sounds just like mine! I'm assuming she's also retired, like mine, and has nothing else to do. Every time I talk to her, she gives me unwanted advice on how to raise our baby. She also insisted on living with us (she only lives 30 min away, but to her, it's a long trip) from day 1 of bringing our baby back from the hospital (I put a stop to that). Her advice is always unwanted, and half of it is old wives tale crap, or outdated info from when she raised us. I'm due in 7 days, and a few days ago, she started calling me on a daily basis to see if anything had changed - like I wouldn't call her if something did change! This is also her first grand child.

The best thing to do is to take a deep breath, and realize that she is not doing this on purpose - and none of it is evil or hateful. They are just bored, and have nothing else to obsess about. They think they are being helpful, when they are really not. I have become quite honest with my mom by telling her nicely that I'd like her to only offer advice if I asked for it, and that we would simply like to share our baby with grandma, not have her take care of her and tell us how to do things. I had to repeat this to my mom several times. Know that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and she may still continue to do this annoying stuff. Just stand your ground, and keep telling her to back off nicely. Also, it helps to desensitize yourself from her annoying ways - easier said than done, I know!
Good luck!

humm..have you considred just telling her you are feeling better and that you need some alone time. its hard, my mom is almost like this. but i finally just had to tell her no more....it worked. hurt her feelings but she got over it.

I'm so glad that my mom lives 40 minutes away and teaches in the afternoons- because otherwise she would probably be doing the same thing. She knows I'm stressed out and wants me to come over and stay with her for a while "like a vacation" so I can relax. She even suggested that she take my due date week off of school so I have someone to drive me to the hospital. Lol! Nate works three minutes away from our house and even if he couldn't drive me to the hospital, all I would have to do is call her to come and get me.

There's probably not a lot you can do expect understand that she is coming from a place of being so excited for you and for her and having normal mom concerns. Let her know that you appreciate her concern and caring for you and that if she needs anything, you will call her and let her know. You could even kind of lie and say that being around people is making you stress out a little bit and you just need some alone time to really relax. Try that and in the meantime, feel lucky. There are so many women who have no support from their families during this time- and many more who aren't near their families to get support when they need it. I would much rather that my mom be a little overbearing but supportive and comforting than the alternative.

When I got married I told my DH that there needed to be a state line, preferably a full state, between my mom and I. She's in SC, I'm in AL. It's a 5.5 hour drive and I'm pretty happy with it that way for exactly the reason you have described! Although we have gotten better, esp with my son being in preschool and her having spent 9 years teaching preschool. She has been a great resource at this age.

Have you tried telling her that you're going to take a nap? Or would she be like my mom and make herself comfy on the couch and nap at the same time? Can you think up and errands that you "need" her to do that would take a really long time? It wouldn't stop her from coming over, but it would keep here there a shorter period of time.

You could just make a point of leaving before she gets there or right after she leaves. Kind of passive aggressive, and she would probably be calling the hospital if you weren't there when she got there, but it's a thought.