Lately i have been feeling sad alot.. too much.. i have this amazing little miracle inside of me and i am feeling sad.. and cry so easy. i feel like my husband and i are not going to be able to provide this child with the best in life.. i am scared. due to circumstances we are living with his sister in the living room... not nice right.. not an environment to bring a child into. my husband was going to try to change jobs, and we got pregnant knowing that insurance companies wont just insure an already pregnant woman we decided that he would stay at this job until after the baby is born so we are covered and then he would look for something else.. problem... he is making 15$ an hour right now and we cant even afford to get our own place! I am not legally allowed to work yet. we are working on my green card and visa and hopefully my work visa will come in anytime but me not being able to work is not helping our situation. i know it wont always be like this and once i am able to work things will be better but then i know i cant work forever.. as it is i am 19 weeks pregnant and who is going to employ a pregnant woman for a couple of months.. and that is IF the work visa comes through soon. so i know that we are going to end up still being here in the living room when the baby comes and that scares the hell out of me. his sister is not thrilled about us being pregnant. and her kids... very disrespectful of everyone and everything and expect that i am here to be cleaning up after them.. it is really frustrating and i just find myself wanting to cry all the time.. little things set me off into tears and i am worrying my husband. he is trying so hard and he is so supportive of me. he says no matter what our situation right now he would never change the fact that we are pregnant and i wouldnt either...he says this is the for worse part in the for better or for worse in our wedding vows... and that things will change. i guess i am just wanting to see the light at the end of this dark tunnel and dont know how to get myself out of this funk..... sorry to ramble.. i just needed to get it out..
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