I think I've reached that point in pregnancy every woman meets and seriously FREAKS OUT... I feel so un-ready for a baby. I'm just so scared, I'm 18 and watch all my friends living their lives and can't help feeling jealous, I've cut myself off from all of them because talking to them just makes me feel more alone. They're all at university and I know my life isn't over but I feel sad for how much harder it will be, and trying to adjust to how different it'll be to what I expected. I can't sleep anymore, I just lie there staring at the babie's cot, feeling quite dis-connected from everything. The baby's dad isn't supportive of me and I don't think anyone realises how much I love and miss him, so I'm going through a really tough break-up on top of everything. That's the main hurdle I'm having, I just want him back but I know that's not going to happen. I think of him every minute of the day. I can't bring myself to get out and meet other pregnant women because I feel below them, like everyone will judge me for being so young, single and pregnant. And even if they didn't, I can't stand seeing happy people with their partners. I'm very bitter right now. I spend all day in bed thinking how dferent my life was last year, I had an amazing boyfriend, great exam results, lots of friends and was really happy. Now I have to face this knowing I will never come first again. And all of this is making it really hard for me to bond with the baby, who I do love but I still feel like something's missing. Sorry for going on just feeling so crappy right now need to get it all out and if anyone has any advice that would be great..
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