I am at my wit's end as to how to deal with my husband's brother and his wife (the in-laws)..It's a VERY long story, but I'll try to shorten it. My sister-in-law and I were childhood friends in elementary school (BFF's), but fell apart in middle school because of our different personalitites and interests. We didn't speak any through high school, then while I was in college our relationship was somehow rekindled. By this point, she was already married to my husband's brother and had her first child (she started very young). After the two of us had been talking and going walking together for about 6 mo. to a year, I was introduced to her husband's brother (my husband now). It was love at first sight..I moved across the country to be with him and we were married within a year. My sis-in-law and I remained friends, but her behavior soon spun out of control. She cheated on her husband, claimed to be in love with this other guy, and she and her husband were seperating and filing for divorce. This put me in an awkward position because my in-laws (my husband's parents) were def. not pleased with her. Thinking she was leaving the family and because of her change in lifestyle, our friendship faded. Well, after about 6 months, the two decided to try to work it out (though they had both been unfaithful). By this point, our relationship was pretty much non-existent. Gradually we began talking a little here and there, but the relationship is not and will not be what it once was. HERE'S MY PROBLEM: I think she and her husband are both jealous of us.. She continually turns things I say to her around to make them sound bad and tells my mother-in-law..she has cussed me out in e-mails, telling me how selfish I am (because we had just moved to a new town and were unable to make it home for the birth o her baby) then she aplogized...any time we are back in town with our families, she and her husband continually question what we do and they blame me for any time my husband spends away from his family to be with mine..we recentely found out we are pregnant with a boy and instead of being happy and just congratulating us, they both had something rude to say (they have only daughters). This was the last thing that happened that really pissed me off...My husband's brother said that he bet I was happy because I wouldn't have any competition and followed that up by saying I'm needy! We still aren't sure if he meant with his wife or if he meant I would have been in competition if i had had a daughter..whatever that means! My husband was sure to let him know it was not ok to say things like that (politely of course). And my sis-in-law just said "Well, I'm happy for you because I knew that's what you wanted all along." She thinks she knows everything.. Even though I never said anything to her like that. Yes, we are ecstatic to be having a boy! But I always told her that I would be happy with either. It just so happens that we are having the first grandson on both sides of the family... So I need advice on how to deal with them..I can't just not see them when we go into town and she still calls me every now and then to talk.. I would just like to have a civil relationship with them..one in which we speak and are friendly when we are in town..and they need to realize that my husband and I both have to split our time when we are home (that is the biggest issue!) I just am really struggling with this because I am, by nature, a people pleaser. I am also a Christian and believe strongly in forgiveness, but they are testing me..It's continual. Has anyone else had this or a similar problem? Please give me some advice! I do not want this jealousy to continue and be taken out on or directed towards my son!
Posts You May Be Interested In
I am a rape survivor. The abuse stopped in 2010. But here recently I have found that the reprocussions have started now. I have a chance with my significant other for a real future and I am struggling. I don't feel like I am worth more than I am now. And I don't want to continue the pattern