I am not religious, but I do believe that there is "something" out there that has a hold over the world. I'm not sure if I think that includes giving us and taking away our babies-- I think nature did that. Maybe nature is my "something?" What a hippie!

Anyway, I am a rational person who likes details and answers, so it makes sense that I believe in the science behind life and nature and that's what I put my trust and faith in. Therefore I don't think anything abstract, such as God or whatever we believe in, took away or gave us our babies....so I guess I'm not really answering your question, but from my point of view, if I thought God did anything, He probably gave us the capability of having and loving children and left the rest to the world he created. I never thought about spelling it out before.

It is VERY confusing to hear people say "It was God's will" or in your case "God did not do this" about a death but then turn around and thank God for conception. I will follow the answers to this question; it is a great topic you brought up in a very sensitive way.

I wish I could answer this for you. I was very religous growing up, but when I hit my 20's I faded from the church. Not that I no longer believed, it just wasn't a priority to be involved anymore I guess. I had been telling my husband, before we got married, before we got pregnant, that I really felt guilty for not going to church and I wanted us to find one together. We kept saying we would, but never did, until we lost Annabelle. I don't know if it is so much that I think God took her away from me, as it is that I think God had a plan for her, just like he has a plan for us. For whatever reason, she was meant to be in our lives this way instead of here physically with us. It took me a while to see it that way. But I am happy now that I do. I have seen how her passing has touched so many people, and has made my family, who has seen very little tragedy, realized it can happen to us. So even though it may not have been "him" who took her, he had a plan. I am thankful that I am given the opportunity to carry another child, and I hope "his" plan is to have this baby come home in my arms.

Don't know if this helps, but it is how I look at it.

What I've come to understand is that no one is immune to bad things happening to them. It doesn't matter if you are good or evil. Death, loss and sadness are part of life.

We have been through a lot of tragedies in our family. I lost my father when he was just 57, my children lost their father (my ex-husband) last year after a motorcycle accident and we lost our sweet Gabriel. What I have learned is that my faith is what has helped me through these difficult times. I believe that God has put in place people to help support me to get by until happiness comes back again. I believe in the power of prayer, but I also believe that we can't just sit back and wait for it to happen. I prayed so hard that we would be blessed with another child after Gabriel died. I became so frustrated and sad when it didn't happen right away. But then I realized that there were other paths we could take if we weren't able to conceive. My husband and I contacted an adoption agency and were ready to go in that direction only days before I finally got my BFP.

I am so thankful that I do have my faith. It is such a wonderful comfort to know that Gabe is happy with God in heaven and will never have to face the pains of life. I firmly believe that I will meet him one day and finally get to hold my boy. In the meantime, I pray everyday that our new little one who is on the way will be healthy . I am thankful for the gift of both of my children.

Not sure if this helps, but it sure has helped me through the past few years of my life.

I do believ God took our children. HOWEVER that being said, I do not think he did it to punish us, or out of spite or malice.
"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21)
The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence. (Psalms 11:5)
there is a certain amount that he intercedes in, and other thingsa re just nature and human freedom of will. If he interceded with every little thing, than there would be no free will. If he interceded and saved every sick person, every child who dies, then there would be no free will, plus, to top it off, the earth would be COMPLETELY overpopulated. There are different theories on children dying. I heard from a Budihst that their explination for stillborn and infant deaths is that the child has already fulfilled their Karmic duties, and have been granted the blessing of eternal afterlife. I have also read from another book that babies are still so close to heaven when they are still in the womb, that when they die b/c of miscarriage or infant death or stillbirth, it is because they themselves got scared and decided they were not ready to come here to earth, that they decided to go back up to heaven. I love both of these theories, and they support the free will, because in theory, the babies themselves had the free will to go back to heaven.
Do I believe that God had something to do with us conceiving....ABSOLUTELY!! you know why? If there is one thing I have learned inthe past 11 months since Rosie's passing is that every child, every conception is a TRUE miracle. The timing, the perfection of everything from hormones to uterus lining thickness, to implantation timing, cell division, etc, it is a TRUE miracle....honestly, I think it is a miracle that anyone is ever born with all that can go wrong between conception and birth!!
I HOPE that this helped a little, I am sorry if I rambled on a bit. the one thing that has helped me get through is my faith. And don't worry about getting angry at God or turning your back on Him, He doesn't mind, He can handle it...and he won't turn His back on you. HUGS!!

perfectly put erin. you had me all teary eyed. the lord giveth and the lord taketh away

I Agree with ErinFoster, I believe free will lets us control our own actions, for good or for bad. Noone took our babies, noone could. I believe God's plan is for each and every life, and we are so narrow visioned to think that this life is all there is, eternity is a life that lasts a long time, and God describes our life like a puff or wind or a flower that blooms and fades, compared with the life to come. Our children moved into their eternal destiny earlier than we wanted, but God has a plan for them there, and we get to share in that plan when we go too. It's my only hope to be honest, but God gave me an assurance that he was in control and that this was his plan for my angel and for me.
I know I wouldn't have my rainbow if my angel had come, I know because we had to bd whilst I was ovulating and we wouldn't normally choose to do that on that day after a full day at work etc... so I know that this rainbow is a gift from God because I asked him for it, and extra special because we would have let that egg become an AF ordinarily... the whys became less important to me when I knew that he had it in his hand, but it doesn't stop the hurt, and the unfairness I feel, but I can trust and get through each day.

I think this is a great topic, and I love most of the responses I've heard. I don't really have anything to add to the conversation, because I was never raised in faith and wasn't sure I even believed in God or that there was one. This experience has certainly educated me on many things and I'm still slowly learning. I'm starting to accept that there maybe really is a higher power and I most certainly now believe I do have an Angel watching me from heaven.

I hope more people add to this conversation, because I truly love to hear how other people perceive this.

Erin you put this very well. It is actually comforting reading those theories. Thank you for that input!

What I love about the DS board is seeing the diversity of opinions/beliefs and understanding that there is no right or wrong answer to the inevitable question, "why." I love how everyone is respectful of each other's opinions/beliefs, even if they don't always agree, and yet be so supportive of each other. I wish there were more communities like this one. I love learning about the different theories that people choose to believe ---- your perspectives help me explore the meaning of life in greater depth than I could possibly have otherwise. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

Since you asked, I believe that what happened to my son was beyond God's control. It was a fluke. It was not part of His plan. It was not His choice to take him away from me. A lot of things happen beyond His control -- both bad things and good things. But it gives me great comfort knowing that my sweet boy is now with Him. He is in good hands. And what happened to my rainbow (her being conceived) was indeed a miracle, as many things are in life --- but I don't give God credit for that. Instead, I give credit to my Angel, Luke. I thank Luke every day for the gift he has given me -- his little sister.

This is my belief. I don't expect anyone to share this belief with me. This belief is what comforts me the most and that's why I choose to believe this.

Wow!! I'm so glad that you posted this, and am grateful for all of the wonderful answers. I was raised in a very strong Cathlioc family, and have proceeded to raise my daughters this way. My faith and beliefs have been tested before, but when we lost Natalee, they were rocked to their core, I have gone up and down with it. I did get very angry with God at one point, and blamed him for Natalees death....what I couldn't understand is how he could let her die, but there were millions of babies born to drug and alcohol addicts. This being said, I would still find myself praying for understanding and patience. I have started going back to church, and find some peace and calmness in praying. I have come to the conclusion that what happened to Natalee was out of my control. As much as I hate that, it is true, and I pray every day to be blessed with another chance to be a mommy again. I find myself praying more and more for a healthy rainbow, but I do it with a tad bit of doubt, because I prayed for a healthy baby before, and I feel like I was let down. I don't know that there are any right or wrong answers, I think that we are all going to stuggle with this for a long while.

The strange thing for me is that I was never deeply religious before loosing Ty, but ever since I have become very devote. My fiance was raised in the church (his mom is a priest) so it was different for him but I found myself, not mad at, but turning to God for comfort and answers, it's all I had. I recently read two books, one said God doesn't do things like take babies, the other said God does because every baby from the point of conception has a destiny and plan. I chose to believe the first book, my fiance the second. Even before I read the books one of the other dads in iour group said something to the affect that "God doesn't take babies, God is good, God is love, God is full of happiness, Evil took your baby not God. God tried to protect your baby, he did all he could but sometimes evil overpowers God and bad things happen to good people. But God was there in the aftermath of evil, guiding you, loving you, comforting you from evils despair" That statement has meant a lot to me having only become religious after loosing Ty. I choose to believe that point of view, evil did this not God because it comforts me. But like my fiance, there are people who think God did do this because it was a part of the plan. It's such a deep topic and one that is very personal, try to speak to your priest, rev, pastor, whoever and see what their view on children dying is. We meet with our Rev. next week to discuss this...should be interesting.

I believe god took my son. He didn't do it to hurt me or my husband, he was not trying to punish us. I believe my husband and are are good people. We are honest hard working family oriented people. I think god seen something spcail in us and our family and he knew we would make a wonderful god revering son who would sever wonderfully in heaven. I believe got broke my heart for the good of man kind. I believe god has bigger better and more important plans for my son than I could ever possibly have. I wish I knew what his plans for my son are. I wish I knew what my baby is doing. But I know he is specail and I know he is with us and I know some day my arms will be around him again. Untill then he live in my heart.

I was raised Catholic. We went to Church every Sunday, I attended Catholic schools. In my early 20's I started to question everything.. I no longer had to absent mindley (sp?) say the prayers during an hour Mass, or if I really did sin.. why couldnt I just tell God instead of having to tell a Priest for a "middle man". I questioned a lot..

I do believe in something, but I do not think its a God. This is how I feel. I have had some very early miscarriages that I do not talk about just because I know I was not with the right guy for the father and would have been all alone with the child. I have never been able to stay pregnant. And then we lost Autumn last july when I was 26 weeks. If there is a God why would he allow me to conceive, hear her heart beat, feel her move inside me..just to lead to a day of her death. Babies are sposed to be innocent, she wasnt even born yet to have "the original sin" as Catholics believe each baby is born with already.

But as I realized when we planned Autumns funeral.. one can not bury a baby without referring to angels, Heaven, footprints, God's plan etc. I did those for our family, for his and mine parents..and I guess if I am totally wrong about God.. its a nice thought then that Autumn is playing in a field of flowers under God's eye.

I dont put faith in God that I got pregnant this time. A very realistic planning with the bf and I to get the ovulation date right. God didnt get me pregnant..or help me get pregnant. We did.

Jen

Being agnostic, I never blamed God for taking our babies. We lost our first at 8 weeks, another at 5, and our princess at 38 weeks in January 2010. That being said, I do have faith of some kind. I believe that there is probably something out there, but probably not what I was raised to believe. I believe that our princess was taken so that her brother could be born this February. She was going to be our last baby, and now we will probably have another. These babies never would have happened had we not lost Marissa. I like to think that she knew this, and she wanted her brother Parker to be a part of our lives. He would not be sleeping in his bed right now if she had survived. She did not die in vein. I don't regret a single moment that I had with her. As much as we wish that she was here (she would be 14 months old), I have to remind myself that Parker would not be. Nothing that we did caused her death. We live honest and kind lives. We did not deserve this, none of us did. But, it happened, and I have to find a way to keep the few memories that I have of Marissa alive. I cannot place the blame with anyone, especially not myself.