My husband and I just found out today that we will be welcoming a little girl into our family! I lost Colin Dallas last September at 38 weeks. I'm so nervous about this pregnancy as the days go on. I really was hoping for another boy, but we are getting a girl! Trust me I'm happy that this baby is healthy and I know she is truly a blessing. It's very bittersweet! I can't help though to feel guilty and sad that I am not bringing another boy into this world. I fell in love with the idea of raising a boy and having a momma's boy! Has anyone else out there every lost a child and got the opposite sex in a subsequent pregnancy? If so, what is the best advice you can give me on how to deal with it? Finding out today was almost like having another one of my hopes and dreams crushed. I'm so sad, yet I'm so happy all at the same time. I feel guilty for even having these thoughts because I know in the end the sex of this child doesn't matter nearly as much as it's health. I'm so happy to be having a healthy baby yet sad. I'm trying to think positive. I know once I see her face I will fall completely head over heals in love with her, but right now I'm very guarded and struggling with bonding. Mabye after this initial shock wears off, I will start to enjoy a bit of this pregnancy and bond a bit. I think most of my sadness, fear, and anxiety comes from the fact that my husband and I had Colin's nursery completely ready for him and I haven't touched it since. I know I don't have to do anything right away with the room, but the thought of knowing that eventually I will have to pack his clothes away and bedding away makes me very sad. I feel like that is the last part of closure to him,it's kind of like the final thing to do in his death. Any suggestions on how to deal would be really helpful. I do know that I want my husband and I to go clean up the room, I don't want anyone else to think they are helping out and try to do it for me. Please help me! Thank you all for your help and support! Christa
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