Lets jsut say that in the last few months my life turned to crap... really, really fast... On my birthday, i finally had eneugh... my friend told the counsler that she HAD to c me... ASAP!!! I had self diagnosed myself with severe depression, thought about suicide constantly, started cutting myself, and even attempted suicide a few times... I told the counsler about my wrists, and siucidal thoughts, that same day she had to call my mom to come over to tell her, and then i had to go to the docters... then i got diagnosed with severe depression, and i found out that the real reason that my parents divorced at MY birth was because my dad cheated o nmy mom when she was pregnant with me... Ssssooo... my brothers a senier in high school, and in the army... he will probably be going to iraq this summer :'(... my mom has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and had a mastectamy (her breasts removed) and will be going through kemo-therapy soon... i have severe depression... and my turtle died tonight... and its all my fault... i dont knwo what to do anymore... there is so much more going on in my life right now, but this is just a very brief explanation... i have been slowly loosing my faith in God, or at leastly my trust... I know that God has a plan for me... and i know that the bible says that God wont send anything ur way that he doesnt think that you can handle... bbuutt... i sortuf feel like he was a little bit wrong in giving me this, maybe i cant handle it... i know that i am stronger than most, and most would have commited siucide a few months ago if they were in my shoes... but i still dont know if im strong eneugh...??? I'm sooo confused! i hate my life right now... i just wish that i could fastforward time just for an hour or so, just to see if its all worth it... just last year i was a normal girl living in a normal christian home, with nothing really that big happening... and then BAM!!!! this all hit me at once... and its still comeing...
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