I served in Afghanistan and have been home since June 2007. Members of my unit were killed during engagement. Here is a letter I wrote to my best friend and fellow soldier.She is the one on the left in my avitar: God Bless everyone serving.


Hey Jellybean,

I really miss ya girl and I thought I would write to you and let you know how much. There isn't a day that goes by that I dont think about some of the shit that we have been through and some of the dumb ass stunts we pulled. Everywhere I went and everywhere I turned, there you were, always at the ready,,,even during our short periods of downtime when you could have been on the computer or doing other stuff, we would sit on my rack together and have these intense conversations. Some of them where hysterical, others made me cry so hard I thought I would never stop. Remember the one about Fly boy? Oh shit, I thought I broke a rib I laughed so hard. That was really the first time I ever really saw you break loose and really laugh. I hope your head is okay - LMAO. Now that was funny Marcie, you have to admit.....WANG!!!!!!! But then there are times when I remember THAT day.....the insurgence had retaken the town and we were practically pinned down in very heavy engagement....why did you do that? You knew that you were supposed to wait for my order...why Marcie? you were supposed to stay under cover...why did you step out when you knew.......I don't understand....what the hell were you thinking when you did that? There was nothing that we could do for Anderson and Layton, you know that.....I guess I am just trying to understand it so that I can....well.....understand what the hell.......I guess you made a judgement call that day....but that is my job not yours...you were supposed to follow my orders....you would have been alive today and not blown apart right in front of me. That sight, sound and smell is burned into my brain with a branding iron. I wish you could tell me why...I know that you always had my back....that goes without saying.....did you see something that I didn't ? what happened that day Marcie? Still the fact remains that you were under my command, just like Anderson, Layton and the rest of the unit, and some of you were killed in action. Now, is that supposed to make me feel better? No, it doesn't. I was responsible for our movements and actions carried out that day and I wasn't able to bring you all back alive. There was pieces of you all over the place....all over me....I burned the uniform but kept the boots. I remember the sounds and the smells of that split second. It is frozen in time in my memory. Sometimes it plays in slow motion. Just like the time we saw that child being set on fire by his father and we couldn't do a damn thing about it. Remember him yelling at us that all of this is our fault? Remember the sound of that one gun shot that rippled through the air? So do I. That sound and the screaming and the smell....shit...that smell....I will never forget it.....the time I was taken captive.....the sounds. smells, especially the voices and footsteps.. I got to know each one and what they meant...during that time I sometimes wish I was the one who was killed....anyway Jellybean....I really never got a chance to really sit you down and tell you how much you meant to me and how much it meant serving with you. You are one of the bravest, most loyal people I know, and for that Marcie, I stand at attention and salute you. Rest in peace an be one with the Lord. I love you Jellybean.



Peace girl!!!!