I have left my abuser/rapist after being together for 18 years (married 15) six months ago. I still have nightmares, flashbacks, and freak out if I think someone is coming up behind me. I frequently wake up sweating even though my room is cold and have trouble falling bac to sleep. We live in a small town and if I see him or the car, my heart will race and I frequently have flashbacks. I have gone for as much as a wee without one episode since Sept. but then it happens again and again and again. I am tired of these thoughts/feelings and I find myself checking all the time to make sure he is not following us or parking outside my home (some of this is because he does these things.) Anyways, I try really hard to hide these feelings from my children. They have their own symptoms and problems and I don't want to put this on them. But I think they sense it and this feeds into their anxiety and PTSD as well. Will the symptoms ever go away? Will they always come and go unpredictably? How can I gain control over this?
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