i always pray for a chance to tell my story before i leave this earth what story well the story of overcoming being a teacher overcoming 2 bouts of cancer and now the final one rape my motivation is not letting the rape win or the other evils that came to me ,, i am still hurting aging and yet we all want a legacy , this one just came to me i see it is exposure therapy as it seems to be working for me ,, i was asked at the rape center where i get free counseling to be taped professionally telling my story it will be edited professionally and along with a few other survivors be played at a huge conference i am very grateful i believe if soomeone sees it and is able to get some home from this socially cancerous crime against humanity that is about as close as i will come to winning,, and it gives me hope i really need it i am starting to ask for the help i need i have some huge hurdles if i can do this i hope it will give me the courage for the next step cancer screenings dental i really could see how i would be better able to do this if i felt my story was out there and my teaching life was not lost in rape and trauma then the outcome of the tests wont be so scary i will have moved on and then i think will accept any outcome with some peace i already asked for help ie social services to find a supportive living environment being on here has helped so much,,, thanks you all and i am not done working on it yet just like you all one at a time say prayers next week i can get this video done with courage to speak,, i dont like cameras like l loved them when younger and performing , vanity? of course but this is different this is something that might save a womans life who knows a man too
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I don’t want to get into the whole story of what just happened because I think I’ll get more upset & im shaking rite now ..... pretty sure I just experienced some really shitty racism... I keep trying to tell myself maybe I misheard something but I think that’s just denial trying to give me a glimmer of hope. There is no denying what just happened. This world can be so scary...