Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Triggered

i feel as though i may of as a kid after my dad has just hurt me. Im frozen with anxiety and dont know what to do or where to turn. 

Replies

jewells1
jewells1

Right here. You are safe and okay. I know your dad was an abuser and all the words that someone we should be able to trust are twisted to get us to comply. But your dad is far away right now. I wish I could change history, but knowing that you want to choose to treat yourself with care helps.
For CPN, copy the topics and journals you have since last appointment by date. You have done a lot since the meeting before holiday. Hugs , support J.
LillyPotter
LillyPotter

yes, we are here and it is now. breathing with you. you are doing good things for self care now. coming here is such a good choice - you keep on making those good choices, see xxx
lovelilbeany
lovelilbeany

Im sorry i made u do this to me dad
lovelilbeany
lovelilbeany

I hope he sees this and knows im sorry
LillyPotter
LillyPotter

no, that is wrong thinking. you did nothing to create his sickness. you were his victim. if not you then another child.
jewells1
jewells1

You didn't make dad do anything, he did it all by himself. Now what made him sick enough to do it is a story I'm sure, but it wasn't you.
lovelilbeany
lovelilbeany

He said i was only born for his needs. If i wasnt born id have not had to suffer at all. I wish i wasnt born
lovelilbeany
lovelilbeany

I still sleep right on the edge the bed matress, so close i nearly fall off every night.
jewells1
jewells1

Same here! But that was always so I could slip off and hide under the bed. My dad is gone, and your's is not near you. You are safe. If you want put in a movie or make some toffee with me... It should be pretty good stretching it across the ocean.
lovelilbeany
lovelilbeany

I see my dad on wednesday to celebrate my birthday. Birthdays he would do certain things to me.
jewells1
jewells1

It's your party...you don't have to see him. If mom and sis won't meet you tell'm maybe next year.
donnawanda
donnawanda

You can say "No" now. You don't even have to see him.

You are a child of the universe. It was incredible, misguided hubris for him to tell you that, and it was a lie. From Khalil Gibran:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You were born innocent and never made anybody do anything. Tell me, could you make him do anything today? He wanted to do what he did, maybe in his mind needed to do what he did - all for reasons that existed before you were ever dreamed of. His relationship to you was about making up a reason to do what he did, but it had nothing to do with you.

You were born for you - not for your mum or your dad. You are a product of life's longing for itself. This life is yours. Take it back.
jewells1
jewells1

Now for the Toffee we need a 32 0z bottle of Caro syrup , a full stick of fresh butter and a teaspoon of butterscotch flavoring....Bring all ingredients up to a slow rolling boil(I think we got that going anyway) and boil until soft candy texture. pour on to a buttered cookie sheet and cool to room temperature, Then you grab an end and Lills and I will....Pull!
lovelilbeany
lovelilbeany

Thanks everyone. I want to break down and cry but i cant just now.

That sounds nice jewells ive never eaten anything like that before.
jewells1
jewells1

Yummy and buttery, really easy. Practice and you and M can enjoy the trials.
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