Please note: This is how I got through my PTSD. It is what I convinced myself of so I could move on. It is not intended to down play PTSD, you suffering or your pain. You pain is real, your suffering is real. However, I needed to move on and my mind needed an explanation. This worked for me, it empowered me and many have found it offensive. It is a person believe about my own person struggles with PTSD. So here goes.
People are sheep, we like to follow and belong so we conform. This is why you see one person buy an SUV and the massives follow. We want to belong, we need to belong. It was how we survived in the early years. We cannot help it, it is in our DNA. So we conform to what society says in "normal", we learn to live in that box of what is considered normal. Then one day, something happens and that box gets blown up, it no longer exists for us, we develop PTSD for a variety of reasons, but it mean we no longer fit into the box that society considers "normal". We are outside the box. We are different. We might feel broken because we no longer fit in or belong. But what if we are not the broken ones?
I feel different, like I don't fit into society and the expectations of what is expected to live in that box. The doctor labeled me with PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. Why? Well, that is just a term they use to say I am outside the box society considers normal. It is nothing more than a term used to describe someone who does not follow anymore but instead form a new and deeper meaning of life.
someone who does not live by the invisible dimensions of the box society has but in place. I don't think I need to concern myself with a label put on my to say I am a free thinker who does not need to drive an SUV to fit in because society says I should and most people do.
I am not a victim, I am able to read people better than I could before. I have been elevated to a level of thought and understanding that the followers may never see. I am outside the box, society considers me different, it scares them, so they labeled me as sick and diseased, I am not. I am free to see the true meaning of life, the true values of what is important in life, and I can see and read people much more accurately that ever before. Moving outside the box has elevated my awareness of the social box that actually restricts people and makes then conform to peer pressure and fear. I am not special, nor do I have special powers, but what happened to me has given me the ability to see life, feel it and live it. I am not a victim. Thinking like a victim is what those still in the box want me to be. They want me to hurt and feel like I don't belong. They want me to feel I am broken because I don't fit into their neat little box that creates boundaries they will never move beyond. They are limited to the box, they can long live so much, experience so much and live so much.
PTSD shattered that box society calls normal for me. I now live without boundaries and I am free compared to those in the box. I can see so much more and have a much deeper understanding of life.
Some will say I am crazy, I really cannot explain the freedom of living outside the box. I realized that their is nothing wrong with me. I am fine. I had a shitty thing happen and it changed my life forever but I am learning it is actually a blessing in disguise. I am now enbracing being different and unique. I actually feel sorry for the followers in the box, they go through life living within a box, I unlonger have to do that. They think of me as broken and damaged but I am not, I escaped that life.
I know I am not explaining this right, I cannot seem to find the words to explain this. However, I now feel fortunate I am not stuck in the box. I can see how unhappy most people's lives are when they are stuck in the box.
Please understand I do not feel superior or special. I don't feel I am a GOD or looking down on others or that I know more than anyone else. I just feel that their is normal set of rules that society goes by and PTSD smashed those rules for me. While I might be different I feel I am no longer in the rat-race, on the treadmill and that I have gained a deeper understanding of life. I can see so much more than I could before. I am more aware. I am have a greater understanding of life in general.
HiI jsut wanted to say HAPPY SUNDAY and I hope everyone is doing well. Thinking about you. Whatever is going on. Wherever you are.Happy or sad Please remember thatYou aren't aloneWe are here Fighting back!!!Living!!!Propeling onward with youYes, you!!!
So just because the day keeps getting worse, I just found a red nodule cyst like thing on my 4 year old dogs paw. My dogs are obviously my saving grace.So now I have to just not breathe until I can get him to the vet.Make it stop, what have I done, really. It is one thing after another