Hi all, I have had one of those years, where past trauma has been opened up.I have spoke about the pervert/felon maint man in my apt where I froze/he was fired after months, re-triggered memories/flashbacks from 2 assaults by men (not rape) at my job ( a predator) and a landlord attack in a previous apt many years ago. Plus my alcoholic mom died, no-contact, far away for years, but fear, anger, grief...a mess opened up there too) I went numb, isolated, tried to work thru it, then the homeless man sleeping in the hallway below my apt two months ago, yes I reported it, tried to get the guy help with a social worker, who BTW...did not believe me when I told her the manager said "I think he's harmless"....went on for over a week...to say I was triggered would be an understatement, numb again until I spoke to an elderly lady tenant's very tall son, he was ticked off/went in to management/guy is gone. This has been a good place to live'till now.. does not feel so good now. Triggers are all around...I recognize them, but one in particular...neighbor next door who made the "You weren't raped" remark to me months ago..who on earth would say that to another woman who was messed with? Anyway...I know she lies/manipulates...I just found out she has a Masters degree in counselling....aacckk! She is covert, controlling and knows how to push buttons. I have talked to a shrink...stay away from her...yeah well I can't walk out my door w/o being triggered/I am trying to find help to move, but it is very hard/ I am disabled and all the stress is taking a toll. I can't drive much. I guess I am glad I recognize the neighbor is toxic, but the covert stuff, I can not see anyway out but to move. Her body language..cold, her voice..flat..shows no emotion, a pretender! Has anyone lived next to whatever she is? I avoid her like the plague, but she also knows it and pits others against me, including management. I probably have answered my own question..run..no way out..but I am so tired.Sorry to vent and repeat myself so long...I started having "episodes" neurological disability+ PTSD...no one understands but here! As long as I isolate in my apt all the time I feel better, open the door, go out, I'm a shaky mess for days! Thanks for listening!
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