So, I tried to respond very honestly, knowing that the goal here was to find a real way to help the friend (as per previous journal entries) and a real way to understand and be there for someone with PTSD. I will past what I wrote below. Maybe you feel the same, similar, slightly different or completely the opposite.

As someone with PTSD, "honestly" helps you? In an ideal world, what do you want to happen? More importantly, what will you actually "allow" others to help you with?

(ex: I want a clean house but I won't really let others help me because I want it organized and done my way. I worry they may not understand, may impose their own ideas, may throw out things which I know are important or may do it without my knowledge. So, I'd rather be left alone than have someone "sweep" in, although a clean house would be a great gift. How about you?)

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Um, I don't find positive things useful, mostly because I can positive talk for myself. Sometimes, I find all that stuff fake and pushy and cliche most of the time. What helps for me is just reaching out to talk or spend time. Not talk about my illness, just be a friend. I think the greatest help is when someone else brings normalcy. That's what I really want to find.

If you want to send him things, maybe send him things that are insightful and interesting rather than pushing "happy cliches" at him. Like, I find the info about Alice Miller "helpful" and "useful" - it has a practical bent. If it came with a note "I thought this was interesting. What do you think?" then I would be all over it. If I got a book of poems and happy faces, I would just ignore it.

I like coming here and reading people's research and thoughts and questions. It's also nice to find similarities in our stories and be reinforced.

I don't know where he is at, but maybe you could ask him for feedback. I wouldn't call him on days he has counseling. I would talk to him late on the day after. There's this thing called "decompensation," which means we retreat and hide for awhile. It's a way of letting the body calm down. Like, today, I am just hiding inside and being quiet because I have done so much for a couple days in a row. I have given myself permission to do *nothing.* It takes this weight off my shoulders. Yeah, anything that would take a weight or a burden away is SO helpful. The two most helpful things I have had recently, was an offer to go on vacation and just get away for awhile and my neighbor and then my friend suggested we go to the bark park. Getting away from everything and feeling "normal" for awhile is just nice. Taking care of the dogs removes so much guilt. When my dad makes calls for me and takes care of following up on car repairs, social security, getting my case manager to get a me a therapist already, pay for vet care, gets my car fixed and registered, my aunt went with me to get it emissions tested, an advocate said she would call and get the community college to fix it... all these things I found help and a true "gift."

Thank you For Posting This..This really helped me alot. Thank you for all your support as i try to better understand How PTSD affects our loved ones.

OMG! I had this question OVER and OVER and OVER again today. Someone got a nonchalant answer that encapsulates it all? He's driving me nuts!

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Nope.. don't know a soul that has it.. heard of it but that's it. So you can't work because why?

SO what happened in order for you to develop this?

I see.. I guess I still don't understand why you can't work...

Ok.. I don't understand it at all and know nothing about it.. was just curious is all.. what is it that prevents you from work?

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I just want to jump out and yell inappropriately. But, that chases away a friend, although it CLEARLY illustrates the problem. Lol! :)