So, after 3 years of therapy, some shit has hit the fan that I haven't worked through yet. I'm starting that.
I was doing a lot better. There's about 3 big aspects of life that has damaged me. I feel like I've worked through 2 of them (for the most part), and I didn't think number 3 would ever be an issue, but it is. It's always bothered me, but here it is, in my face.
Although I never thought any of them would be an issue because it's in the past. Used to believe the past didn't matter. Obviously wrong and found that out the hard way.
I'm just aggrivated because I was doing much better, feeling much better, now there's this hitting the fan.
Just had to rant a second. Hate how this shit comes in waves
Today, I live in fear. I'm free from my past physically, but I continue to wait for the other shoe to drop. I'm learning that trauma lingers and I'm also in a state of fight or flight. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to lose everything and everyone. Being with a new partner has been healing, but when I'm not doing well with my trauma, I start to read into things and fear the worst-I fear...
Thanks to those of you who gave support with the lamictal and EEG findings. I'm grateful for answers but still waiting for the effects to kick in.I find myself struggling with intense anxiety. It was already there but it got worse a few days ago. I had the same substitute assignment for 2 weeks and liked the routine of it. They hired someone permanent for the position and I'm partly glad but...