I went through a rape and then 7 yrs. of domestic violence...I have been free of it for 15 months now and still somedays I just want to sit...and do absolutely nothing...this weekend I didn't even bathe, or leave the house...it's so unlike me, I walk 5 miles 3-4 times a week and throw in a couple 1-2 miles on the days I don't get that far because of time restraints or whatever...what is this? How do I shake it? I have went through terrible bouts of crying for weeks as well, but when I do this sitting thing, I feel numb, or like I'm still in shock or something. I spent so many years trying to hurry and get everything done to please my x abuser that I am just now beginning to find my own pace again, and that shadow he left ...or that feeling that I am not getting things done fast enough is beginning to go away...Idk...I'm trying to be patient with myself but it's hard...I had a couple of invitations to go out and have some fun with friends this weekend and I chose to just sit home alone and do nothing, I didn't even answer the phone. I know it isn't healthy but none of my positve affirmations or knowledge that I've aquired from counseling could pull me out of it this past weekend...anyone else ever feel like this?
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