I just sat down and semi compossed a letter to my daughter. I feel like I can just no longer fight the fight. Every day that I am here is a big fat lie. Oh yes I smile make jokes and live as if everything is A-ok,But it is not. No one would ever guess this,I'm good at hiding it. I'm in constant pain inside and out. I lost my middle daughter in 2004,I will never get over this she was only 17, and I miss her so much,She would be having her 21st b-Day on New Years,something I will never share with her. I also live with cronic pain,people don't understand this and say well you look fine,But again I am not. I just cant fight it anymore,I give up,I surender.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??