.....on the edge of the Grand Canyon. A hundred foot drop. Saw my therapist yesterday and he didn't seem to care or believe I'm so fragile right now. I've had some new flashbacks that seem surreal. Things I would never do. But I've had a dozen mental health providors tell me flashbacks don't lie. I just can't live with the thought ofwhat I've done. I question how many times. I was not forced, merely given the opportunity and I took it.
I got up anxious this morning because at the end of the week I have to return from Mexico, where I plan to retire, to my workplace in the USA, where I have 2 years more to go before retiring.It's not just about going back to work, it's about going back to work at a school that's having such trouble with dwindling enrollment that it's making ends meet by asking older teachers to retire. Then it...
Does anyone else exercise on a regular basis? I go to the gym about 5 times a week. I have found this greatly improves my mood, gives me energy and reduces my suicidal ideations.