I struggled insanely last night with being triggered by my ex. He Skypes with them at least once a week. The conversation always triggers, but last night was much worse than normal. I heard my oldest playing piano and after each song saying, "I know that sucked" before he could say anything. I didn't think it sucked especially given she hasn't practiced or had a lesson in over a year. I felt trapped in my house by him again. I felt the same bullying. It was horrible and I didn't handle it well. Had a cigarette (I don't smoke regularly and feel horrible today). A bit of self-harm too. I hate the fact I have to interact with him. I feel trapped and unable to escape my abuser. Any tips?
Cool beans, I get it. Struggling because my sister doesn’t give a shit about me. I understand I am a fuck up. Crazy weird and useless 12hours 10mun.
im beyond tired. Tried to out run my flash tonight, to write my way through it cause that works sometimes but I wasn’t successful this time. Flashed anyway, then emotional drainage. So not comfortable or pretty.now, sitting here with the pieces. Altways takes awhile to put them all back together. So don’t need this now, to work on my own shit. Why does life have a sense of humor and a mean...