I struggled insanely last night with being triggered by my ex. He Skypes with them at least once a week. The conversation always triggers, but last night was much worse than normal. I heard my oldest playing piano and after each song saying, "I know that sucked" before he could say anything. I didn't think it sucked especially given she hasn't practiced or had a lesson in over a year. I felt trapped in my house by him again. I felt the same bullying. It was horrible and I didn't handle it well. Had a cigarette (I don't smoke regularly and feel horrible today). A bit of self-harm too. I hate the fact I have to interact with him. I feel trapped and unable to escape my abuser. Any tips?
Today's the 9th day of being home recovering from my surgery, on a strict liquid diet the whole. Today it finally got to me, and I just wanted to sleep all day. Tomorrow a friend is coming by to drive me to see my surgeon for a follow up appointment. Hopefully, just getting out of the house for that will liven me up again. I'm hoping, too, that he'll let me out of the house after that for...
I have been taking my meds for two weeks straight. Not missing or skipping them. Going to get a mri done because my head aches are so bad that it's driving my crazy. I keep telling my self theres something wrong with me from all the head abuse I have had. Pluse my neck is tight and sore. Stress is going to kill me. Hope you all are well