i just gor bk from my first counselling/ therapy session. He was really good at helping me identifying my feelings already.though he kept saying stuff about how its not my fault i have terrible coping stratagies because thats what the abuse does ect. I couldnt listen to it. Its my fault i was abused and its my fault i dont cope well enough and always looking to escape. He said we are going to change that.
He asked me if im there because i should be or because i want to be there. And i do really want ro be there and have some understanding of me and have a improved future.
I made another appoinment for the 18th. I wish it was sooner but im not off work again till then.i feel like ive been left open raw now and really hating myself right now.
I have had about 30 jobs in the last 10 years (Not exaggerating). I have a degree in IT, and I have had a really tough time staying at a job. When a tough call comes in, or an issue I cannot figure out, I tend to be really hard on myself. Telling myself that I am dumb, don't ask for help because you should know how to do this, and that I am not smart enough for this career field. What happens is...
There are more people here today. I'm feeling guilty bc last night was harder than I let on when I was asked but I was honest enough to say that today being here is the best I can do. There are 6 women in this group. Not sure why that feels like so much. I'm nervous to be a wreck again today and I just want to fast forward to the weekend so I can rest. But I'm also terrified for the weekend bc I...