Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I am a wife of a paramedic that suffers from PTSD. About 3 years ago he was working on an ambulance it was his last shift before he started a month long vacation, he had 10 minutes left on his mandatory overtime shift. Him and his partner got a call to go to police officer down. When he arrived on scene they found that an officer had been shot 3 times. My husband was first on scene, 2nd ambulance arrived. on the way to the hospital my husbands partner drove them in, he had another paramedic in back and an EMT. The EMT froze and he could not get her to move. The other paramedic was new to the area and had been a medic for only one year. At this time my husband had 7 years as a paramedic and 5 years as an EMT. The other paramedic went to decompress his chest and was not able to do this. My husband was working on getting the officer breathing again. When they arrived at the hospital the officer was alive. They took him straight to the OR. After several hours they were unable to help him. This has brought several issues up for my husband. His department had him stay they with the officers wife (married 6 months) and his parents. All were in the waiting area when the doctors came to tell his family. My husband then had to face the look on his wife that she was no longer married and a mother that just lost her only son. They all had to go to counselor however the counselor was not good for my husband. He did not have good luck with this. We talked about this several times (I am an EMT) my brother and sister-n-law (both police officers)spoke with him. Few months later the wife contacted my husband employer and wanted to see the crew. She needed closure. They all meet and this started everything. They had several service on the anniversary that my husband had to attend. Was always on the news. Could not get away from it. Several weeks after the anniversary my husband broke down and cried. I felt that it was bothering him but he didn't want to talk to me or anyone about it. I finally was able to get him to see a counselor on his own. They put him medication for it. Things got better. Then he said that everyone else was crazy and he was normal and stopped taking the medication. Things went down hill. The wife has started a memorial fund and is always in the news. We just try to avoid the news due to this. But now my marriage is hurting my kids hurt and he hurts. I can see it in his eyes. We are going to counselor together but he still says he is OK. I can see he is not OK. My husband was in school at that time and worked a 2nd job when this happened. His grades dropped to the point he dropped out. He is determined to get out of school, but until this is over in his mind he struggles. I want to stand by his side and help him. I just don't know how to help him. I understand that to get over it he has to want help I can't make him do that. Does anyone have any ideas how I can help him until he wants help. Standing by him is not helping, I just can't watch this man get so depressed. It hurts me too much.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
He definitely can have PTSD from this incident, as well as any other incidents prior.
He REALLY needs to get in with a really good trauma therapist, AND see a really good Psychiatrist.
It is a struggle, and to try and go it alone is even harder. It's hard on the family/friends of the PTSD'er...it's hard to live with us....but with proper understanding of PTSD, proper therapy and proper meds....THERE IS HOPE IN HEALING.!!
Will he join DS too?? Maybe KNOWING there are others like him out there might help?? I know it helped me. This is the ONLY place I can go to be REALLY understood.
Despite our varying traumas, we all have very, very similar thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
And, this is the BEST COMMUNITY there is on DS, IMO.
Meds can help decrease his anxiety, and help him sleep at night. Therapy can help him talk about the flashbacks, talk about you guy's relationship...and how to make it work. Not sure how old your kids are, but they need their Daddy....and he needs to be a role model for them....
I don't know how to get him to therapy, but maybe a really heartfelt heart to heart...no fighting or accusing words....but really heartfelt....make the call for him....for me, I hate to make calls....make it easy for me, and I am more apt to do it.
Make the call to the therapist, make the call to the Pdoc....try to find ones that specialize in PTSD.
There are treatments like EMDR that may really help him.
Check out EMDR.com
and
www.sidran.org
both can give you referrals to therapists. And Sidran has LOADS of info on PTSD. Just about any therapist trained in EMDR should deal with trauma. Had to leave off the www EMDR.com b/c it comes up all funky on here.
There is Hope in Healing!
We're not the person we were before PTSD set in...and that is SO frustrating to us.
He needs a special counselor, one who has a certification in EMDR, one who he can go to alone, one who can be an (as Alice Miller says) an "enlightened witness."
To start with, he does need to regain his power. It sounds like his lashing out at others is an attempt to do just that... FYI - He is "normal." We ALL have breaking points.
I wish he could be here. Until he comes here, until he has his own counselor who can provide him "appropriate" support, I might suggest that you check out some Alice Miller books and leave them in the bathroom, where he might peruse them during longer visits. (Lol! The truth is I can't concentrate on a book like I used to since PTSD. So, I keep them in there because I can only do 2-3 paragraphs at a time, anyway - 4-5 if my brain can get properly focused! Lol!) ;)
If he is going to therapy with you, you have a definite opening, which is AWESOME. You can just say you want the two of you to try and go separately for awhile and then see if that helps more when you come to talk together again. GREAT inroad there and it might help for you to be with a trauma specialist who can really talk to you about PTS.
*REMEMBER* there are *VERY FEW* "true" PTS experts out there. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY, I think you should interview them carefully (on your own considering the delicacy of this situation) to see if they are appropriate. www.Sidran.org has an article on choosing a trauma therapist. Also, LOTS of people on here can tell you what they find helpful from their therapists and LOTS of people can give you ideas of what to look for and... once again... Alice Miller gives a LOT of insights about how I therapist should help his/her patient.
Let us know how things go and, remember, YOU have support here as well. :-) *BIG HUGS!*
You will need to make the first step in nearly everything. The nice thing is that the first step is usually the easiest. I know that's why people without PTSD don't understand why we can't handle it. Just know, for us, the first step is a doozy! Strangers and new experiences... BIG NO-NO!
However, we can still magically pull out the super hero in us and deal with the stuff that comes after calls: finding paperwork, organizing, getting "exactly" the right info. We can even do it for others when we struggle to do it for ourself. Check out the journal I wrote today. I was drowning and Daisy sent me the info on getting the senator involved in my appeal and *BAM* that made ALL the difference in getting my social security claim on track. AMAZING!
So, yeah, we need you to take the lead on the initial footwork. Think about it like you are checking the field for mines. Once you verify that it's clear, we have confidence to go in there and building something AMAZING! :)
Btw, I dropped school... even got a letter from the doc. It was even flexible online courses and it was *very* *very* sad for me when I was SO good at it.
You might find something very helpful in the "Grant Proposal" post. You might be surprised how your husband fits the same personality profile that all PTSers seems to... (I've started dropping the "D" from PTS. I'm with your husband. We're normal and make the truly healthy choices for dealing with things... unfortunately, it's too much for our poor flight-or-fight chemicals that we don't let be released!!! Lol!)