All that hope turned to mush. I should stop reading/searching so much and just wait for therapy to do whatever it’s going to do.
What’s confusing me is counseling.
I see my filter. I know it’s not my job to limit his anger. That’s not my role as wife. But it feels like my role as self because I’ve seen red flags. Is she saying those red flags are in my head, that being grabbed and not allowed to take space or leave a room is normal? I disagree... Was I just supposed to stand my ground and hope he’s not like others? Just keep being bold and wait for it? That feels unsafe. I needed the reminder that I am not what I’ve been through, but aren’t there some ways a filter is helpful? Knowing that he’s operating through a filter, does that excuse his behavior?
I have been taking my meds for two weeks straight. Not missing or skipping them. Going to get a mri done because my head aches are so bad that it's driving my crazy. I keep telling my self theres something wrong with me from all the head abuse I have had. Pluse my neck is tight and sore. Stress is going to kill me. Hope you all are well
which is making me nervous. She is studying for her nursing finals this week. I want to hang out with her and talk but she is so nervous that she is screaming at me for so much as looking at her! I made her some eggs and toast so she didn’t have to stop studying to eat. Just have to hang in till tomorrow night and then she will settle down