All that hope turned to mush. I should stop reading/searching so much and just wait for therapy to do whatever it’s going to do.
What’s confusing me is counseling.
I see my filter. I know it’s not my job to limit his anger. That’s not my role as wife. But it feels like my role as self because I’ve seen red flags. Is she saying those red flags are in my head, that being grabbed and not allowed to take space or leave a room is normal? I disagree... Was I just supposed to stand my ground and hope he’s not like others? Just keep being bold and wait for it? That feels unsafe. I needed the reminder that I am not what I’ve been through, but aren’t there some ways a filter is helpful? Knowing that he’s operating through a filter, does that excuse his behavior?
i dont know myself anymore. Whats wrong with me? I try to be smart, I try to be strong. I try so hard to be prefect for my brothers and sister but more mostly my adopted dad. All i do is ruin everything. I know this is just probably more drama for everyone to hear. (I'm sorry if that is so) well let me just start from the beggining.about almost 3 weeks ago my dad put me on birth...
About a year ago I went to my roommate's friends house to go swimming and watch movies. I thought no big deal because I'd met him before and he knew my roommate. We watched movies and ate snacks, talked about pretty normal things until I saw that it was pretty late and I should be heading back home before all the cops come out. He said I could stay over because we both had class at the same time...