Hey. I highly recommend therapy, it is incredibly tough, and it takes a while (for me anyways) to even start to talk about what has happened. But once you have someone to listen, and slowly offer advice, your perspective on the traumas being to change. It has helped me quite a bit so far, even though it is one of the toughest things I have ever had to do.

I needed therapy when I was at my worst. It really helps to have someone to talk too. It can be hard at first talking about traumas, but eventually I found relief. I still have flashbacks and an occasional nightmare, but I much rather be where I am today. I hope you can get the help you need. I really recomend therapy especially if your depression is severe. It's probably not what you wanted to hear but I know no other way to get through it. Wish I did.

Sweetie, a therapy is not about blaming anybody, but about helping you understand yourself. Part of his or her job is to help you understand why you feel the shame and blame for these traumas, and work through those feelings of hopeless resentment. Are you seeing a pdoc for depression and anxiety? There are some medications that can help you with both, but they are barely a band-aid without therapy to process what has happened to you and help you develop a plan for how to move forward.

if she did it shouldnt matter to you you know you didnt cause any abusive act done to you i really dont like councellors who get too personal about other peoples delecate feelings.

i highly recommend therapy as well. i find it hard to talk about stuff too so i write everything down, give to my therapist and then talk about it. when you've had a life time of trauma, its going to take a long time to heal. dont give up, its worth walking the journey to healing. all the best

I think you would benefit from therapy...you don't deserve to be shaming and blaming yourself, no matter what the trauma was.

You need to overcome that Shame and Blame and put it on your Abuser.

There are new ways, like EMDR, to help with flashbacks.

Don't go this alone, it will decompensate you more.

Try - EMDR.com - to look for a local EMDR therapist, they should specialize in Trauma Therapy as well.

Also check - www.sidran.org -out for loads of info, and they will give referrals also to trauma therapists.

A Good Pdoc will help to manage your symptoms as well too...that might be worth looking into as well.