If there was a trauma in your past, you may or may not remember it. If a trauma happens at a developmental stage when the brain is not prepared to handle events, the brain may, as a survival technique, block out the event completely. Also, if the trauma happened before speach had been learned, then the manifestation of PTSD may be in the form of feelings rather than clear cut memories.

I understand how scary this must feel. When I was diagnosed, I was actually releaved because I then had a name to call what I was experiencing. We all react differently to traumas, to diagnoses, and to events. I hope that you will find some peace.

I wish I knew more of your symptons but from what you said it sounds like the dreams are vivid or are uncomfortable. Sounds like you are stressed wondering if you do or do not have PTSD. How do you know if you have PTSD? I can't answer that for ya, but it sounds like something definitely is going on. I sense alot of fear and being overwhelmed. I don't know what I'm tring to say. I guess what I am trying to say is I doubt if anything is your imagination. I used to think that many years ago. Try and find some things that comfort you, nurture you. No need stressing yourself out more by always worrying about something that may or may not be. Love yourself now. Take good of yourself now. Learn little coping skills from other people, here, therapist, reading, etc. Whatever needs to come up will come up when it is ready. Don't force yourself. I hope I didn't sound to preachy. I have you in my thoughts.

You're both right, I just wish I knew what it is I'm so afraid of, it would have been much easier to live this way.
But I guess when the mind's not ready to digest, there's nothing I can do about it.

Thank you.

I have PTSD also. I remember hardly anything. It's very scary when you don't remember.

I did not remember anything about my childhood abuse until ten years ago when I started dreaming things. As I wrote my dreams down things started to make a coherent picture. I tried to date when the dreams referred to by looking at where we were living, what I was wearing and other clues like this and a picture began to emerge.
Stuff is still surfacing when I visit my counsellor.
Dont condemn things as imagination until you have had a chance to look at them. My constant nightmare of feeling suffocated proved the key to a lot of memories that I am now being freed from- or at least understanding their effects. A note-book by the bed helped me a lot.
I know how scary it was for me when I started trying to work out what was going on. I hope this helps.

you have hidden your pain and fear inside it comes out in your dreams if your doctor says this to you its true theres two things you can do find out with doctor if you need eather medications or therapy or both if you have questions ask me ok im here for people like you.

Hi Isabel,

When you say it would be easier if you knew what you're afraid of, I really don't know about that. I know what I'm afraid of, and it seems to be always on my mind. Wish I could forget sometimes!

Anyway, trust your gut feeling. If you feel your dreams are real or symbolize something real, believe it. I have had nightmares for 20 years or longer. They're always different, but always scary. I've had three dreams of being raped, and actually woke up physically hurting afterward.

I hope you can learn to cope with them and maybe control your dreams, whether or not you remember a trauma. I am working on visualizing either my love or one of my spirit guides in the dream with me to help when it gets scary. It works sometimes, and getting better as I practice.

Hang in there, sister. You're not alone, and it *can* get better.

Bright Blessings,
Wistala