Muji. I have been trying to reply to your post Here but I am locked out of it. I wanted to respond and could not fit it in a hug either. I am sharing parts of my two favorite quotes I thought may apply to your situation. I really wanted to add these to your post darn it.
Throughout it all, you are still, always, you: beautiful and bruised, known and unknowable. The Internet seems filled with versions of us, like a fun house filled with mirrors. Some of them made me look prettier, and some of them made me look uglier, and some of them chopped me right in half, but none of them were right.
Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don't know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn't you. That isn't you at all.”
Hugs, It seems you are doing better
Ok, someone had way to much time during the quarantine. Did you know that COVID-19 had a Top 20 playlist? Well take a look at this. Do you have a song that could be added to expand the playlist? My song is: by Taylor Swift "You'll Get Better" https://youtu.be/tMoW5G5LU08 Wishing you wellness and safety today and always.