I've been in therapy since 2004. I was diagnosed with PTSD over 3 yrs ago. I am right there with you. We are about to... or rather, should have started EMDR Therapy today. However, I cancelled my session. Mostly because of the dread, anxiety and fear of the pain that I will go through. I don't want to do it. Which is total avoidance. Which... is NOT good. They say you have to go through it to get over it. Quite frankly, I've been going through it for so long now... I don't even believe I can get over it. I just want to push it all back down. It won't go AWAY by doing that... but it seems like there is less pain to endure. I know MY way is not the RIGHT way. I'm searching for answers myself and wish you luck.

Same here my doctor told me it was depression and refered me to a counsellor and she diagnosed me with PTSD i have been with her since 2006 , i try not to avoid my sessions if she says we are going to try something new , i go and let her explain it all to me and then if i dont lyk the sound ov it i say that id rather not try it and she just leaves me for a while just to sit and think and then she worms her way into getting me to do the new thing anyways , but i like her for that coz i no i wanna do it and she knows that am scared ,But i hope that u dont put it off coz it sounds really interesting and could be helpful or useful for u and ur treatment , and if it doesnt help or anything then atleast u can say to ur self that u have tried it

We did all the assessments for the EMDR. We even did a trial run. She warned me up front that it was painful to go through. It was. Even the trial run. You go back there. She described it like you're riding on a train... looking out the window... you are watching the "event" happen, but you aren't reliving it. Actually that's how my memories are anyway... I'm not IN it... I can see the whole thing happen... like I am "out of my body" just watching. I hate it. My therapist is one tough cookie. She reminds me of an authority figure. That sort of makes me want to NOT go! lol :) She says we'll only do what I'm comfortable with... but like you... I know I'll end up doing it. I'm avoiding it so much that I didn't even speak with her. I called last night when they were closed and left a message that I wouldn't be able to make it. When she called this morning... I didn't answer the call.

What types of treatments are you doing??? Are they working???

would u mind if we did private messages ?

Dig Deep inside.....Tell yourself when you are in the position with your Tdoc to talk that you are in a safe place, no one here is going to hurt you, and just scream it out...."Just Do It". It sounds bogus, but it does work. I did it, and it was painful, but I didn't die, and that was the beginning of my REAL healing. It becomes easier each time, but I agree, the first time is a doozey. Best Wishes and Huge Hugs.

Welcome to the group