Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I'm wondering if there are certain signs that a person might be more susceptible to PTSD than other people. I mean, trauma happens to a lot of people, but not everyone gets flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms. Why us?
My mother said something the other night that made me wonder if I had "issues" before I had trauma. My husband jokingly asked her if I slept through the night as a baby. I was shocked when she answered, "Not until she was four years old!"
That brought to memory all the night terrors I had as a small child. Horrible dreams of falling and being chased, scary monsters and people.
Sometimes I would just wake up crying - not scared but dreadfully sad - without knowing why. When asked why I was crying, I remember saying, "I don't know. I'm just sad," and I'd cry until I fell back to sleep.
Other times I'd wake up feeling that I had come back to my body, but not quite right... That time was weird and everything was moving too fast. Now I was only five or six at the time, so those concepts should have never occured to me. I would have a full-on panic attack seeing the blinking cursor on the digital clock, because it was moving too fast and I couldn't slow down. My breathing and heartbeat were too fast, and that would make me panic more (which of course, didn't help). My mother would come in and talk to me, hold me... but every move she made seemed too fast. Slowly this would resolve and everything would get back to normal.
From what my mom said the other night, she doesn't understand any of what used to happen. She told my hubby that if I wanted attention I would wake her up crying and screaming. I had no idea she felt this way... It was all very real and terrifying to me at the time.
These things faded away by the time I was seven or eight at the most and I'd forgotten them until recently. If you think back, does any of this ring a bell in your life? Or did you have something different but similar that you can now think back on and say, wow, maybe that sensitivity / emotional reaction showed I was going to be more vulnerable to the effects of trauma later on?
Just a hunch... I can't wait to hear your responses.
Peace,
Wistala
My mother said something the other night that made me wonder if I had "issues" before I had trauma. My husband jokingly asked her if I slept through the night as a baby. I was shocked when she answered, "Not until she was four years old!"
That brought to memory all the night terrors I had as a small child. Horrible dreams of falling and being chased, scary monsters and people.
Sometimes I would just wake up crying - not scared but dreadfully sad - without knowing why. When asked why I was crying, I remember saying, "I don't know. I'm just sad," and I'd cry until I fell back to sleep.
Other times I'd wake up feeling that I had come back to my body, but not quite right... That time was weird and everything was moving too fast. Now I was only five or six at the time, so those concepts should have never occured to me. I would have a full-on panic attack seeing the blinking cursor on the digital clock, because it was moving too fast and I couldn't slow down. My breathing and heartbeat were too fast, and that would make me panic more (which of course, didn't help). My mother would come in and talk to me, hold me... but every move she made seemed too fast. Slowly this would resolve and everything would get back to normal.
From what my mom said the other night, she doesn't understand any of what used to happen. She told my hubby that if I wanted attention I would wake her up crying and screaming. I had no idea she felt this way... It was all very real and terrifying to me at the time.
These things faded away by the time I was seven or eight at the most and I'd forgotten them until recently. If you think back, does any of this ring a bell in your life? Or did you have something different but similar that you can now think back on and say, wow, maybe that sensitivity / emotional reaction showed I was going to be more vulnerable to the effects of trauma later on?
Just a hunch... I can't wait to hear your responses.
Peace,
Wistala
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
My therapist did tell me though that I was already "wired" for trauma to affect me in this manner. (my brain) My first experience with something I just couldn't accept or deal with was about my brother. (four years ago) I was always told how strong I was and how I could just go through anything coming out being better for it. But that changed it all... I couldn't explain it but that was too much for me to live with (my brother's death). It was the end of my shoving things down, the beginning of my breakdown, as well as, the beginning of the rest of my life with my eyes wide open.
I had dealt with horrible experiences and events but this one touched a place that could not have been touched otherwise. It hit me in the heart and that was something I protected fiercely.
I believe there is something to the idea of having pre-disposition to this disorder. That research would truly be interesting.
When I was 3-4 years old, I would wake up screaming and my mom would be really upset with me. Horrible, terrifying dreams. No light allowed.
workingthru,I also lost my brother. It has been 15 years since he died and it still seems like yesterday. I understand how you feel. My brother died in a car accident when he was 29. I miss him dearly and don't think I have properly mourned him because I was pregnant when he died, and everyone was saying, you can't cry you are pregnant, it will affect the baby etc. So I didn't cry. Now I cry at the drop of a hat but not for him yet.
I think a preindicator could be childhood trauma couple with being an overachiever. I think that success indicates that we are running "hot." This could be that our bodies are already stuck at an elevated fight-or-flight level. After all that happened, our catecholamines are elevated, we concentrate more readily, concentrate for longer and can accomplish multiple tasks at once. Like "super heroes," we can complete do the work of 2-3 people even in our lowest gear. When we kick into high gear, we run circles around others.
I think that's why there ends up being nightmares, a predisposition towards low blood pressure (body compensating) and low blood sugar (body compensating). It's the body trying to regulate and make adjustments for running at perpetually elevated levels of those hormones.
If this is true, cases of PTS will be on the rise for years to come, until we finally start working with children and training families on how to manage time effectively and remove stress, abuse and other traumas from our lives.
That's my researcher's opinion. ;)
yes, the EXACT thing happened to me as a child. but unlike you, i did nothing. didn't call for mom. just kept it to myself. i would never wish the feeling on my anyone, but it is comforting to know i am not alone.
Have you ever read the book "The highly sensitive person"? I've always been able to enter a room, scan it, and tell you about what mood people are in without even talking to them. It's like I sence other's emotions. I always felt like a radio tower that wasn't tuned into one signal, but got all signals at once. I would just soak up other's emotions and then get overwhelmed. The Highly Sensitive Person was really helpful to me to understand that I wasn't the only one that this happens to. It was very validating.
She links it to intelligence and a skill created to survive parental abuse.
It's very insightful. It's her first book, so it is dense on scientific jargon. However, if you skip over that slightly, then you will hit the examples, which are very insightful. I think you would get a lot out of the book, Meow. :)
I was a straight A student my whole career (except Algebra - hated it!), even through Latin 4 my senior year. Graduated in the top ten of 210 students, then ticked everyone off when I decided not to go to "real" college. I went to an equestrian school instead. Anyway...
How about this to add to the list? Maybe all kids do it, I don't know:
Until I was about four or five, I used to be convinced that my parents weren't really my parents. I thought they must be aliens pretending to be people. Or sometimes I felt that I was the alien, just placed here for some strange reason (now I do believe in reincarnation, and this could have just been part of the adjustment period in a new body). Anyway, looking at it from a pre-PTSD point of view, I wonder if it might have been early dissasociation?
I didn't suffer any abuse by family members, so that doesn't account for it in my case. My earliest remembered trauma was accidentally killing my pet parakeet when I was 2 or 3.
I'd still like to hear from more people if any of this rings a bell with you. I wonder if any studies have been done on predisposition to PTSD. If not, we could be opening up a whole new field of study!
I really do think that there ought to be research done on this.
I love being part of the PTS group. People with PTS are so determined to be well and healthy that they will do and face anything to get better. I love and respect these people with all my heart.
And I was reading children's books at age 3 also. School wanted me to skip 3rd grade, but my parents didn't want me to miss out on the social growth of staying with kids my own age. Because there was no gifted class back then, the teachers took to printing out 3 or 4 worksheets on a topic for me while the other kids did 1, just to keep me busy until the rest of them finished.
I got pretty good at drawing, though. I spent a lot of "free" time in class sketching horses.
Boy, we all have a lot in common from before our traumas. This is fascinating, and makes this group feel even more like family. :-)