Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face i wear for i wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that i'm afraid to take off and none of them is me. pretending is an art that's second naturer with me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that i'm sucure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without thast coonfidence is my name and coolness my game that the water;s calm and i'm in command and that I need no one but dont believe me. my surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask ever varying and ever concealking beneath lies no complience beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness. but i hide this i dont want anybody to know it i panic at the thought of my weakness expossed thats why i frantically create a mask to hide behind a nonchalant sophisticated facade to help me pretend to sheild me from the glance that knows but such a glance is precisely my salvation my only hope and i know it that is if it is followed by acceptance if it is followed by love its the only thing that can liberate me from myself from my own self built prison walls from the barriers that i so painstakingly erect its the only thing that will assure me of what i cant assure myself that im really worth something but i dont tell you this i dont dare to im afraid to im afraid you will think less of me that'll laugh and your laugh would kill me im afraid that deep down im nothing and that you will see this and reject me so i play my game my desperate pretending game with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within so begins the glittering but empty parade of masks and my life becomes a front i tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of what's everything of whats crying within me so when im going through my routine do not be fooled by what im saying please listen carefully and try to hear what im not saying what i'd like to be able to say what for survival i need to say but what i cant say i dont like hiding i dont like playing superficial phony games i want to stop playing them i want to be genuine and spontaneous and me but you've got to help me you've got to hold out your hand even when thats the last thing i seem to want only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead only you can call me into aliveness each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging each time you try to understand because you really care my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings but wings! with your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me i want you to know that i want you to know how important you are to me how you can be a creator an honest to God creator of the person that is me if you choose to you alone can break down the wall behind which i tremble you alone can remove my mask you alone can release me from the shadow world of panic from my lonely prison if you choose to please choose to do not pass me by it will not be easy for you a long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls the nearer you approach me the blinder i may strike back i fight against the very thing i cry out for but i am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies hope please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive who am i you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. for i am every man you meet and i am every woman you meet
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