I've been battling with this for over a week now. A friend here on DS told me I should say this in group.
When I was 9 my dad started being sexually abusive and he would also let his friends rape for money. Sometimes it was more than 1 at a time. In between, he kept me locked up. I got pregnant by one of them and I had a son when I was 10, premature, barely able to breathe poor little guy was a frail sight... He only lived 3 weeks because my dad killed him in front of me told me I didn't deserve to be a mother. Weeks later my mother came home I told her what had happened she didn't believe me... she raped me herself twice and said that's what it feels like and that's what I get for lieing...
I tried to run away cuz no one would help me and she shot me in the leg with a 22 rifle. I had to take the bullet out myself... she beat me so bad because Since she was going to nursing school she wanted to be the one to remove it because she wanted to practice on me. Well As you might imagine it was quite a few months, over a year, before I was able to move much less walk again. I was in a living hell nobody would help... that's when I tried to kill myself, twice.
I went to a mental hospital and when I was discharged, department of children's services yet again sent me back home to my parents. They did nothing to them for hurting us. They didn't go to jail, they didn't even have to go to court. I was lost for very long time, and I still have trouble with it to this day.
I've always had a woman doctor but, she retired and now I have a male doctor. That's part of what's causing me to have problems because I'm scared of men in general. I'm trying to work through this with my therapist but, sometimes the triggers are worse than others...
Yesterday i got last week's lab results and i managed to lower my A1C again in six months from 5.9 to 5.7. My glucose level is normal and my doctor said i am no longer prediabetic. I hope others can lower their A1C and get their glucose level back to normal like me by doing the same thing I did. I cut out candy, sweets, and dessert and I only drink water and I eat fruit.
I am getting so anxious especially mornings and evenings, that I am finding things in general hard.I'm married with a disabled daughter, but I feel so much that I am not looked after, supported. I can see why people that are married have affairs. Our marriage is good, we've been married 30 years, we have little that we have hobbies in that is the same. Gareth is into football, I am into...